And today, the sun would not rise.
THE SERVICE WAS HELD ATEmmanuel’s grave and presided over by Father Hawk. A favor I’d asked of him even though I suspected Emmanuel probably wasn’t Catholic.
Beside me, Gypsy held my hand, her face cast in shadow by the large black hat she wore. It reminded me of the day we got married when she came to my office dressed for a funeral. At the time, the irony had amused me, but now, it only brought me pain.
I wished I could have given her something better. I wished we’d had a real wedding with our friends by our sides. To see her blissfully happy one last time would have been all I needed. At least that was what I kept telling myself. But time was running out, and I felt it every day.
I hadn’t been taking care of myself. Meals had been skipped, sleep had been sacrificed, and the drinking binge had only managed to accelerate the inevitable. The fever had been ravaging me all morning, but I’d made it through the service. It wasn’t until the car ride home that I began to feel delirious.
Gypsy was beside me, still clinging to my hand, gracefully dabbing away any evidence of the emotion she displayed this afternoon. She’d cried for a man she didn’t know. She cried for her beliefs in me, so strong that she no longer questioned that Emmanuel could have been anything but innocent. Even if I her and I were the only ones that walked this earth with that knowledge, it was something.
“Are you okay?” Gypsy asked when I removed my suit jacket and rested my head against the seat.
“I’m fine,” I murmured.
But I wasn’t fine. My chest had filled with garbage again, and I’d been trying to hide it from her. I closed my eyes and felt her hand on my forehead before she gasped.
“You’re burning up.”
I tried to open my eyes, but they were heavy. Too heavy to open. I tried to give her more promises, even if I couldn’t keep them.
“Lucian.” She shook me. “Look at me.”
I wanted to. My God, how I wanted to. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and there would never be enough chances to memorize her face.
But it wasn’t meant to be.
My eyes were too heavy, and my body was weak. I felt it giving out on me. I felt the split between heaven and earth, pulling me in different directions.
“Ace,” Gypsy said frantically. “Pull over. Something’s wrong.”
DARK EYES FOUND MINE, ANDI choked down my fear as I offered him a smile. “Welcome back.”
Lucian glanced around the hospital room, examining the tube in his arm, the monitors keeping track of his vital signs. He was sleepy, disoriented, and I thought maybe it was better that way.
“Lucian, you have pneumonia,” I said. “The doctors need your permission to treat you.”
They’d told me about his advance directives. I’d argued and told them I didn’t care. I played the wife card. But apparently, that didn’t matter. I wasn’t his power of attorney, and Lucian had already made his wishes clear.
I called for the nurse while he propped himself up and tried to get comfortable.
“Please.” I squeezed his hand. “You need to tell her it’s okay. Tell her that you want them to treat you.”
Lucian looked at the nurse that entered, and then his eyes moved back to me. “I’m sorry,” he spoke in a scratchy voice. “Can I have a few minutes alone with my wife?”
My chest restricted as she walked out of the room, and my frustration was boiling over.
“There’s something I need to tell you—” Lucian said.
“I know about the cancer,” I interrupted, swiping at the traitorous tears that spilled down my cheeks. I’d never cried so much in my life as I had in the past couple of weeks.
“How?” Lucian asked.
“Birdie found your pills and the medical records in your safe.”
His eyebrows pinched together, and he looked down at our joined hands. “How long have you known?”
“A couple of days. I wanted to talk to you about it, but then…”