"Nothing."
Chapter Thirty-Five
When I wake, it is to the sound of the private phone line ringing.
River.
A glance at the clock confirms that it is three am, and I fell asleep at my desk. Drunk. I'm still drunk when I pick up the phone, and his words are not clear. That is my initial reaction.
"Ray is back," I hear.
"What?"
My head throbs and my eyes burn.
"Check your email."
I rouse my computer from slumber. My inbox is filled with alerts.
Ray Rossi has been found.
Alive.
My initial reaction should be relief. This is what I've been waiting for. Hoping for. The day has finally come. Ray is alive. And he will finally know the suffering I have inflicted upon his daughter.
Upon Bella.
River mumbles something from the other line, asking if I'm still there. I disconnect the call and stare at the screen.
My gut churns. It's too soon. That's my only thought. It's too soon. I wasn't ready for this. I’m not ready to let her go. I tell myself that she hasn't been broken. That I need more time.
But it's a lie.
Because it does not matter what I did before. Nothing else matters. After tonight, she will never look at me the same way again. My Bella is as broken as broken can get.
She has seen me for what I am. She has seen me at my worst. She has dared to hope. And her hope has turned to dust.
I flip over to the house security screens and search for her in the dim light. She is not in my room. Or the conservatory. Or even her own room.
I continue searching, and I do not find her in the piano room. Or the library. Or the kitchen. Or any room. Dread coils deep inside as I search them one by one again.
Something is wrong. Something is off. She isn't anywhere.
I leave my office and check the only places without cameras. The bathrooms. But they are empty too. I pace the halls and check the doors and windows.
All locked.
I can find no trace of her. Not one. My mind conjures up the worst scenarios as I retrace her last steps.
My bedroom is the same as I left it. The pillowcase is now on the floor, next to her panties. And her shoes.
Her shoes.
Next to the bed, the floor board is misplaced.
The trap door. The same trap door I sent the prostitute through upon her arrival this evening. And I don't know how I missed it. How I could have been so careless.
My Bella is so smart. So observant. It is too late. I fear it is too late. I have lost her forever.