Her belly coiled even as her back arched. She wanted more, more, more of whatever he did. Strokes and presses while she cried out. His fingers spread her wider and he blew cool air across her swollen flesh.
He played her body until she lost all control of herself. He built the tension in her, then paused. He held her at the edge with a caress, a taste, a tease. She could not tumble over, she could not get what she wanted, and he clearly loved the game.
‘Cedric,’ she gasped. ‘Cedric!’
He didn’t answer. Or if he did, she couldn’t hear it over her own whimpers.
And then he paused again. He waited as her breath eased enough for her to whisper.
‘Please.’
‘Always.’
Then he opened her with his thumbs, pressed his lips to her flesh, and sucked.
Sensation.
Lighting.
Yes!
The waves crashed over her. Release burst through her, saturating her body with bliss. And all through it, she knew he was watching her. She knew he was pleasured by the sight of her ecstasy. And if she missed it, she was reminded as he pressed kiss after kiss to her thighs.
Tiny presses of his lips while she lay boneless and open on the settee. Whispers of words she couldn’t hear against her skin while she remained spread before him like a banquet.
Until he stopped.
She felt him pull back. She watched as he used his handkerchief to clean them both. And then he rocked back on his heels as he gently pulled her knees together.
‘Remember me,’ he said. Then he flashed her an expression filled with regret. ‘Forgive me.’
She frowned, straightening her clothing as she pushed herself upright. But it was too late. He was already backing away.
‘Cedric?’
‘I’ll understand,’ he whispered.
‘What?’
‘I’ll understand if you don’t wait for me. Your father is right. You are young.’
She grabbed his shoulders, turning him to face her. ‘I know my own mind.’
He wasn’t listening. ‘I will return, I swear it. I’ll come back with a full cargo and enough coin to make you proud.’
She touched his cheek. ‘What if I am already proud of you?’
He smiled as if she had just gifted him with life itself. ‘That’s why I need you,’ he said. He pressed a kiss to her lips, then abruptly left the room. He waited for her up top, his gaze fixed outwards to India and China. And when she came up to speak to him, he shook his head.
‘There is a hackney waiting for you. Do you see it? It will see you safely home.’
‘But—’
‘Do not ask me to break my honour, Lucy. It is the only thing I have left.’
She looked at him, knowing now that the risk she wanted to take was not in bringing him to her bed. That was a thing of pleasure and joy. The risk she must do was to speak her heart.
‘You are abandoning me,’ she said quietly. ‘It doesn’t matter why you are going. I feel abandoned.’ Just as she had when Grace left her to become a navigator. When Ah-Lan left her to learn his trade in China. And now, again, when she remained behind while he left.