Chapter Twenty-Two
Lucy had never felt happier. She had work thoughts to occupy her mind and Cedric to hash them out with at tea. She had the excitement of commerce without the fear that had dogged her night and day in China. And, at times, she had sweet moments of laughter when Cedric met her eyes over a shared moment.
It never mattered what they were sharing. They connected over victories and disappointments alike. The moment their gazes locked together, she would feel an electric charge shoot through her body. Her breath would catch, her skin would prickle and need would bloom in her womb.
It was passion, romantic desire, or maybe it was simple bodies in proximity. But every time she won his smile, she felt her world brighten. And every time he relaxed in her presence, showing her either happiness or frustration, she felt the burden of anger ease inside her.
He was no longer the moody companion she’d met onThe Integrity. Neither was he the angry, frightened man who had pursued her sister. This Cedric was a man of singular focus. He wanted to make their next shipment a financial windfall, and he worked tirelessly to see it accomplished.
So she worked with him instead of against him. And their time together was even better than their interludes aboard ship.
And yet the happier she became, the more she fantasised about that long-ago time. She remembered their kisses in the moonlight. She relived his touch in his cabin. And she pretended that they had not stopped. That he had opened her completely and thrust inside. That he had filled her as a man fills a woman because she could think of no one else who completed her so perfectly.
Their skills in commerce complemented each other. He charmed the investors. She calculated the money. And together they argued over the space in the cargo hold and the merits of each buyer or seller.
It was a complicated process as deeply stimulating as how he had opened her thighs and brought her to completion. And most nights, she found herself reliving one of their discussions while imagining his body between her thighs.
It was a tortured, twisted thought process that left her aching in a way that she couldn’t satisfy herself. She wanted him. She loved him.
And maybe it was time to have him.
She might never get the kind of marriage her sister had with the Duke. Cedric was not in a position to offer for her hand. Her father had said as much. And though she had forgiven his hurtful actions, her father had not.
So she was not destined to be Cedric’s bride, but she would have her moment of perfection with him nonetheless. Because he had helped her find her confidence and her place in this world. She was manager ofThe Integritynow, plus her father’s three other merchant ships. And she wanted to share that with Cedric in the only way she could.
In her bed. Because she loved him.
And so she made her plan.
She arranged to see Cedric on the boat. The repairs were done, and the cargo nearly loaded. Indeed, the ship was set tosail in three days. And, because the opportunity had presented itself, she asked Captain Banakos to inspect a new ship her father was considering buying. There wasn’t money for it at the moment, but it was a possibility for the future.
Which meant that the captain was nowhere near when she and Cedric took a last tour ofThe Integrityand its hold. They talked with the ease of long friends, laughing together when needed, and worrying together because so much depended upon what they’d done here.
Finally, she led him to the tiny room that had been his berth so long ago. She noted the new mattress she had installed there, and then she looked in his eyes. She could see by the sudden flare of his nostrils that he was remembering what they’d done here. And when he shoved his hands into his pockets, she knew he wanted to touch her but was holding himself back.
All she need do was convince him that restraint was no longer necessary. And since she had never been coy once a thing was decided, she stretched up onto her toes and pressed her mouth to his.
He resisted. She could feel the tension in him neither giving in nor doing any of the things she dreamed about. Then he set his hands on her waist. Oh, to feel him touch her again! Inspired, she teased his lips with hers, and he met her tongue to tongue. They played together, at the edge of his lips, penetrating neither one’s mouth.
And then, to her shock, he set her away from him.
‘Did you arrange for Captain Banakos to be away?’ he rasped. ‘And did you plan to be here without your chaperone?’
She smiled. ‘I did.’
‘So we can do this?’
‘Yes.’
‘Because you want it?’
‘Yes.’ She lifted her face to his. ‘I want it with you.’
‘Has your father changed his mind? May I marry you?’
She dropped back onto her heels and shook her head. ‘He was very angry at you.’
‘As well he should be. What I did was unforgiveable.’