“I don’t judge myself by other men,” he said.
Her expression shifted as she studied him, clearly trying to understand something he didn’t know either. Why was he holding himself back? Why couldn’t he just take her as any man might when offered something so glorious? Why did he stand there, his cock pounding with hunger, when she lay before him so open to him?
She slowly leaned forward. Her glorious breasts bobbed before him, but his attention was on her hands as she gently tugged at the button on his falls. His buttocks tightened as bursts of sensations flooded his body. As she released his clothing, she pressed and bumped his organ. And when he thrust outward, she caught him and held him such that he pushed into her palms.
Need thrummed in his ears and he shuddered from her too tender grip. He wanted a tight hold, a wet channel, and her, her, her.
“Do you think I’ll demand too much of you?”
She demanded too little of her life. She accepted rebukes and condemnation as if they were her due. They weren’t. If ever a woman could forge her own destiny, it was her. By simply continuing to do exactly as she intended.
“I think you value yourself too little,” he said as she tugged the last of his clothing down. He kicked it away out of habit, and soon he was naked before her. Naked in body and soul as she continued to press him with questions.
“Do you think you will hurt me?”
How could he not? He was a big man, she was small. He was an earl, she was a bastard. He had money, power, and respect. She had no home of her own, a job she was just learning, and no clear future beyond struggle. The differences between them were staggering. It would be all too easy to abuse her love, to take her for granted, totakewhen all he wanted was togive.
She tugged him close, and he couldn’t refuse her. She pressed her mouth to his and he plundered her, thrusting his tongue deep inside. He climbed onto the bed because she pulled him. He pressed kisses into her mouth, her cheeks, her neck, because she wanted him to. At her urging, he climbed atop her.
“You’re everything I’ve always wanted,” he said. The words came out as a groan as she rubbed herself along his cock.
They could do this again, he thought. He could rub himself along her folds. They could fly together, and he would not take her virginity. He would save that for their wedding night. He began to thrust, feeling the wet slide of her body against his. Sensation shot up his spine. Heat and wet andher.
He fondled her breast and she cried out in pleasure. And when need clawed at him, he dropped his hand to the mattress and looked at her. So beautiful. So happy. She met his gaze as their bodies rolled together.
And then she caught his hips, her grip tight. Her feet were pressed into his calves, holding him in place. He didn’t mind. He was strong and she was so sleight as she arched, and her weight came down on his legs.
“I love you,” she said. “I want this.”
Then she shifted her hips, she adjusted their bodies and she held him where she wanted to. Their rhythm had been steady, but this was a change. He could have stopped. He could have poised at her entrance, but in a flash of awareness, he finally comprehended the truth. Suddenly, he knew why he had held himself back from her.
If he did this, he was the one who would fall. Even now he’d been holding a little part of him back. Even though he planned to marry her, he held a piece of his heart back out of fear that it would all go bad as it had for his father.
The choice was so clear.
If he gave her his seed, he would give her all of himself. He would never give her up. No matter what the future held, she would always own a part of him. And he would never release her from his body, his heart, or his soul.
She would be his.
He would be hers.
He thrust.
She cried out in surprise, and he stilled. He was a big man. She’d been ready, but maybe not so ready.
“Lilah?” he rasped.
“It’s… You’re…” She swallowed then slowly she nodded, but he didn’t know what that meant.
“Too much?”
She moved her bottom a little. Just enough to make his eyes roll in pleasure. Then she did it again, and he groaned. It was impossible to stay still while she did that, and yet he did. He would not… Unless she said…
“Lilah,” he gasped.
“Yes,” she said. Then she squeezed him.
A bolt of sensation shot through his spine, and he met her gaze and held it. “Yes,” he said as he pushed all the way inside.