“Lilah,” Lady Rees said, “we rub along well enough, don’t we?”
She nodded. “Yes, of course.”
“And now that all the others are married and have homes of their own, there’s plenty of money for us to live on.” She squeezed Lilah’s hand. “Just think of it. We can play with the babies and then send them home. We can host dinners and live a full life, you and me.”
What Mama meant was that she would go parties while Lilah stayed at home. That Lady Rees would play with the babies, and then host dinners that Lilah supervised. Lilah would continue managing as an unpaid housekeeper in a home that was warm if not exactly filling. And while Lilah stomach’s soured, her adopted mother continued.
“I know you wanted a husband, and I’d hoped you’d take last Season with Gwen’s help.”
“Thetonwill never accept me,” she said.
“I’m afraid not. I’ve tried, Lilah, every way I could think of. But nothing I did made a difference.”
She believed her. Lady Rees had indeed done her best, but even the most skillful society lady couldn’t change Lilah’s by-blow label. It was time for her to look beyond.
“I thought perhaps I could get a job. Become a housekeeper or companion.”
Lady Rees reared back. “Whatever for?” she said looking truly horrified. “You’d work long hours and have no idea what type of company you’d have or even if you’d be safe. Do I need to tell you what happens to such women in so many houses?”
No, she didn’t. Daily degradations were commonplace. As were more horrible crimes.
“And for what? Your pin money is as much as they make every year. And now that Gwen has married, I can even increase the amount. Whatever could you find out there, that you don’t have here?”
It was a fair question, and one she couldn’t answer except that she yearned for a family of her own. She wanted a husband who didn’t care who her parents were.
“I need to meet other gentlemen,” she said firmly. “Ones outside of the peerage.”
Lady Rees set down her chocolate with a click. “Absolutely not. I will not countenance that.”
“Whyever not?”
“You are of noble blood—”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“It did to your father. He insisted that you be reared according to your station.”
“As a bastard?”
“As a lady. And I have. You have the education of a lady, the support of an earl’s family. He even set aside a dowry for you.”
A small sum that would not keep her housed if she took it to live on.
“I have done everything he asked and more,” Lady Rees continued. “Lilah, I have given you love and a home. I cannot understand why you would want to abandon that! And certainly not for a job or a husband who is beneath you.”
“You’re not making sense,” Lilah said, her voice taut.
“And your father would be appalled by the way you’re acting. He wanted you to live with us and not go off and marry some… some actor!” She spoke in dramatic accents as was her wont, but Lilah could see that she truly was distressed. What could she say to all this? It wasn’t logical, but Lady Rees had taken her in and given her a home. Lilah had food, clothing, and a family who loved her. How ungrateful was she to disdain that? She lived a good life, far better than most.
“I know you’re not ungrateful,” Lady Rees continued. “I know you understand how you might have grown up if not for us.”
“I do,” she said. Her mother had died of the pox. Margarite was subject to Jamis’ whims. Many women who trod the boards had a very sad, short life. Lilah was much better off here. And yet it wasn’t enough.
“I know you love us just as we love you.”
“I do,” she said as she soothed Lady Rees’ hand.
“Good,” the lady said as she pulled her hands away to wipe at her tears. “It’s settled then. You’ll stay here, I’ll increase your pin money, and we’ll rub along just like two peas in a pod. It will be wonderful.”