“You seem displeased this morning,” Lilah said as she passed over the chocolate.
Ever perceptive, Lady Rees spoke without even touching her drink. “You have that look on your face. I know we are about to have an unpleasant discussion.”
Lilah laughed. “I don’t have any look on my face.”
The lady arched her brows at her then took hold of her drink. “Did you want to discuss something?”
“Well, yes.”
Mama arched her brows, and Lilah had to concede that the woman had a point. Might as well get straight to it.
“Why did you bring me into your home?”
The lady reared back, her brows rising nearly to her hairline. “You want to discuss this now? Today?”
“Yes.”
“But I should think the answer obvious.”
Lilah’s chin rose a smidgeon. “It’s not. At least not to me.”
“Your father loved you, and I loved him.”
“But I’m a bastard.”
“You’rehisbastard.” When Lilah didn’t say anything more, the woman pinched her lips together again then patted the edge of the coverlet. “Sit down. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about your future for some time, but I kept putting it off.”
Lilah did as she was bid. She sat with every measure of composure. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d done this before. Over the years, she’d become the best of friends with her two adopted sisters Diana and Gwen. Her adopted brother Elliott had been away at school most of her childhood, but even they had an ease with one another. It was only Mama who seemed prickly with her, and how could she blame the woman? She’d accepted her husband’s bastard into her home.
“I was very young when I met your father,” Lady Rees said. “A green girl fresh out of school being courted by an earl. He swept me off my feet.”
“You were a beautiful young woman,” Lilah said. She’d seen the painting of Lady Rees done as part of her first come out. “I’m sure you enchanted him.”
The lady laughed. “My dowry enchanted him, but he was dashing and titled. I thought it was true love. Plus he was a very good lover.” She looked back at Lilah and scoffed. “Don’t look so shocked. There are worse things than enjoying one’s marriage bed…even if it might have been before the vows were spoken.”
Now Lilah was truly shocked. She couldn’t imagine that Lady Rees had acted so scandalously. The woman had fought daily to instill appropriate behavior in her children. “Act according to your name!” had been her favorite saying. And since Lilah was a bastard, she’d always told her to, “Actbetterthan your name.”
“Yours was a love match?” Lilah finally managed to ask.
“I was in love, and he treated me well. We had three beautiful children and I…” She shook her head. “I was busy. I was a countess. There were things to do, and the children were growing. He would come to London while I stayed in the country. But I always thought…” She sighed. “When he came home, we always enjoyed ourselves together. I know I should have guessed he had a mistress, but…” She shrugged. “I didn’t know. Not until the day he told me about you.”
Lilah looked down at her hands and tried not to feel ashamed. She hadn’t done anything wrong, and yet it felt like all the blame landed on her shoulders. Until her adoptive mother set her hands atop Lilah’s.
“He told me how smart you were and that you had a laugh like Christmas bells. He told me that your mother was dying and that you needed a home. He made you sound like the perfect little child, and then he told me you were of noble birth. From Scotland.”
“My mother was from Scotland,” Lilah said.
Lady Rees shrugged. “It wouldn’t have mattered if you were from Hades. He loved you, Lilah. And I loved him.”
“So you brought me into your home? An acknowledged bastard?”
“Yes.”
She made it sound so matter of fact, and Lilah had no reason to doubt it. After all, she’d been well cared for in this home. Her father had certainly adored her, and she’d found her way with her half siblings. But Lady Rees had always been prickly. For all the love Lilah had felt from the others, there was an understandable reserve between her and Lady Rees. One that always left Lilah feeling apologetic for her very existence.
And then her father had died.
Everyone had grieved, but Lilah had an extra worry. Would she be cast out? Not if she was useful. At the young age of twelve, she set herself to become indispensable. She was the youngest, but the most able to handle the servants. She took on every household task she could. She also accepted Diana’s anger, Elliott’s awkwardness, and Gwen’s bookishness, doing her best to ease their way in life. She worked extra hard at being useful because she feared she was one step away from being tossed out if she didn’t behave.