Tylee: Hot
Scum: Get rid of the kids.
Scum: I need to see you.
Tylee: MIL?
Scum: I don’t care. Get it done.
He’s right. This should be easy. It’s not like I’m leaving the kids by the side of the road. Kids don’t even remember anything that happens when they’re this young. I’ll have to talk to Selma, but I’ve already made up my mind – I’m going to Saint Louis.
Still, I don’t want to encourage Scum to think he can tell me what to do.
The possessive shit pisses me off.
Scum is the type of man I need right now – not Isaac. Mostly because Scum is here, wants to listen to me, and hedoesn’t continuously act like a bug up my ass over being a good mother. Like all I’m worth is looking after kids and making kids for him. I don’t seriously think Isaac has been faithful to me all those years we were together.
People make mistakes, which I totally understand. Isaac can be a real hypocrite about that. I slept with a couple other guys when we were seniors in high school and he just never let it go. I only got good enough for him because of practicing with men who understood how to screw without all that overly romantic shit Isaac always wants.
Ugh.
Luckily, I don’t have to think about him tonight. Just how to get to Saint Louis. I’ll know what I want once I get a break from all of this background noise. Scum is a different man from my husband and maybe that’s what I need to start over. Selma can have the kids and I can have…him.
Scum doesn’t want me going back to Isaac or messing with him at all, which I would understand if he was offering me anything other than a ride on the back of his bike and a few other things.
It’s not my fault love is so complicated, you know?
The second cigarette disappears and I can’t hide from Selma for long. She has the kids up by the time I head inside. I put on a big smile when I see them and they look puzzled, but Selma looks happy.
“Hello, my beautiful angels.”
They still look confused, like they want me to look like a bad mom in front of their grandma. I try to hold off a bit.
“I think I’m going to get a job.”
Selma’s grin widens. “That’s great, dear. The boys send enough money for me, but I understand wanting your own independence.”
I wait a beat. “It’s hard after what I’ve been through.”
Selma’s lips flatten with understanding. I’ve told her enough stories about Isaac to fill two whole books of the Bible.
“I’m sorry for what my son put you through.”
“Do you mind looking after the kids tonight? I have a lead on a job waiting tables at some place off Route 66.”
“It would be my pleasure,” Selma says. “I treasure every moment with these kids.”
“Gramma!!!” Kyler says excitedly, taking pieces of goldfish crackers off his plate and stuffing them into his mouth. Selma can get them to do whatever she wants without yelling at them or hitting them, which shocks the hell out of me.
I go over to Aimee and take her into my arms, kissing the top of her head.
“I’ll feed Aimee if you haven’t yet,” I tell her. “I want to spend all the time I can with my babies before this job interview.”
“Do you know when you’ll be back?”
“My friend says I can spend the night with her,” I answer.
Selma nods. “Good. It’s not safe out there for you all alone.”