“I get that. But it doesn’t excuse Zeke’s behavior. My mom stole from me, got clean, got hooked on drugsagain, overdosed, and walked out on me. Then I ran into the dad who abandoned me, and he basically told me not to mess up his perfect new life, but I didn’tturn into a fucking asshole,” I argue. “I leaned on Zeke because I thought he loved me. I leaned on him because I trusted him to be there for me.”
“He does love you.”
“Maybe,” I reply. “But if he doesn’t want me to be there for him, there’s nothing I can do.”
“Please tell me you’re going to be there for Elise,” she begs. “She’d want you at her funeral.”
“I don’t know, Ember. I let her down. She asked me to look after him, to stop this spiral, but I let it happen. And now I’ve walked away, and I don’t have any intentions of looking back.”
“She wouldn’t blame you for this. She loved you. Anytime I saw her after I knew about the two of you, all she did was gush about you.” Ember smiles.
“She was the best. Sucks that her son’s a douche.”
Ember laughs, which lightens the mood. I honestly don’t know how I’d get through this if I didn’t have her and the other girls. They welcomed me with open arms.
“Her funeral is next Saturday, April 27th; whether Zeke wants you there or not, you should come. Because Elise’s funeral isn’t for him but for her. Regardless of your feelings toward her son, I know you really liked her.”
“She made me feel like I finally had a real family. I finally understood what it was like to have a mom who cares.”
“I know that feeling all too well,” Ember replies. “But if you can’t face him, we’ll understand.”
I give her a small smile.
“Does that mean he’s going to her funeral?”
This wouldn’t change anything between us, but showing up at his mom’s funeral would be a step in the right direction.
“We don’t know yet. Zeke’s dad’s coming by today to try and talk some sense into him.”
“Good luck to him,” I mumble. If I know anything about Zeke, the last person who’ll get through to him is his dad.
Being home this past week has been weird. It’s strange to go to bed every night without Zeke and even weirder to wake up without him.
The house has an emptiness, and I don’t know how to fill it.
I expect him to be on the other side whenever I open the door. An apology ready. I don’t know what he could say to me to fix the damage he’s done, but I know I’d forgive him.
I miss him.
I hate that I do. I keep telling everyone I’m done, that Zeke’s out of my life, but I don’t want that. I want him to be the man I fell in love with again.
But I don’t know if he’ll ever be that guy again.
I unlock my front door, knowing he won’t be waiting for me, but still praying that he is.
But when I open the door, someone is sitting on the couch… just not the person I want.
“Hola mija.” Her words sting. She’s been gone for months, trying to run away from her problems again, and that’s all she has to say to me?
“I have nothing to say to you,” I mumble. “Puedes salir.”
“Avalon,” this voice comes from the kitchen, and I turn to see Jay, “give her five minutes.”
“Why? Our last conversation was pretty telling; I don’t need to hear any more from her.”
“This,” she slides an envelope across the coffee table, smiling up at me, “is half of what I owe you.”
“Thanks.” I shut the door and head to my room.