“He went in front of your father.”
All I can do is shake my head fervently asshe speaks.
“He rejected Ryan’s plea. He remanded him andscheduled his sentencing for next week.”
“No, Em,” I refute. “Everything was workedout!” I’m in complete denial.
“Shelly tried to push for the deal, but yourdad was adamant.”
“Twenty years, Emily. That’s what he’s goingto give him. You know my father,” I say frantically. This can’t behappening; Ryan isn’t supposed to go back to jail.
“I know.” She tries to hug me, but I justpush her away.
“Don’t.”
“Alana,” she says sympathetically, but I’mnot having it. My thoughts are in an uproar as I pace around thefoyer. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.This isn’t how it’ssupposed to be.
“Give me your keys,” I demand, motivationstriking me.
“What?” Emily says flabbergasted.
“Give me your car keys, I need to gosomewhere.” I hold out my hand sternly.
“Where?” She puts the keys to her BMW in mypalm.
I take them hastily, but I don’t answer. Ihead for the door instead without even grabbing a coat; Emilycalling my name.
I pull into the parking lot of the Americanadiner, tires screeching to a halt. Without losing momentum I stormout of the car and into the cold December air, praying to GodRyan’s mother is working. As soon as I walk inside I see herstanding behind the counter in her pink shirt and black apron. Iput on the most composed mask I can and stalk quickly up to her. Idon’t want to make a scene, but if she doesn’t tell me exactlywhere Sean is, I’ll turn this place into a Bon Jovi concert atMadison Square Garden. I may not be able to cry, but I sure as fuckcan scream.
I don’t give her the chance to say hi, helloor good morning, assuming she’d even be so hospitable.
“Where’s Sean?” I demand in a low voice.
She hesitates, gazing at me with distrustfuleyes. “I don’t know.”
“You’re lying. Tell me.”
“I haven’t seen him in over a week.”
“That doesn’t mean you don’t know where I canfind him.”
She huffs and looks away, a worn expressionon her face.
“Ryan is sitting in a jail cell for thesecond time because of Sean, and it’s clear you’re not going to doa damn thing about it. So I am. Now please just tell me where heis,” I press forcefully.
She sighs painfully, and I know she’s tornbetween giving up one son to save the other. “It’s no place for asweet girl like you.”
I lean over the counter enraged, my blondehair falling forward. “If you don’t give me the address, I’ll showyou just howsweetI can be,” I seethe.
She glares at me surprised and thenreluctantly pulls out the pad from her apron. She scribblessomething down, then rips off the paper and hands it to me.
“I hope you’re prepared for what you find,”she says contemptuously.
I snatch the piece of paper, turn around andleave without even so much as a thank you.
I punch the addressinto the GPS and begin to drive. The ETA is twenty-one minutes,I’ve never been to the bad side of Asbury, but I have a sinkingfeeling I’m driving straight into the heart of darkness.
I travel into Asbury Park following therobotic voice’s commands. The buildings are all spray painted andworn, the sidewalks covered with debris and the shady lookingcharacters hanging out on the street corners are eyeing up thewhite girl driving the Bimmer. If Emily’s car gets jacked, she’lldecapitate me. I double check to make sure the doors are locked. Ipull down a little side road with dilapidated houses, chain linkfences and barking dogs. The GPS tells me I have arrived at mydestination, a two-story house with dirty siding and a fewboarded-up windows. Just looking at it turns my insides arctic.