I find myself in the kitchen. A room that’sbright and airy even in the dark. I flick on a small lightunderneath the cabinets and sit down at the table, dropping my headdespondently onto my arms. Ugh. If I thought Jack the Stripper wasa challenge to deal with, I was in no way prepared for RyanPierce.
Walking away from him is the last thing Iwant to do, but how are we ever going to have a future like this?Constantly looking over our shoulders, worrying how Sean mightdestroy our lives next.
“Alana?” Ryan’s voice is guarded in theshadows.
“Yeah?” My voice doesn’t sound much better. Idon’t pick my head up as he walks toward me, the wood floorcreaking underneath his footsteps.
“I don’t want to push you away.”
“And I don’t want you believing all thebullshit your family pumps into your head.”
“I don’t.”
“Ryan-” I say cynically.
“I try not to,” he fires back rapidly.
I don’t know what else to say. I’m not in themood to fight or lecture or preach. I just want to go back to bedwith my boyfriend and pretend tomorrow is never going to come.
“Do you want to leave me Alana?” Ryan asksanxiously.
“Do you want me to leave you Ryan?” I respondsoftly.
“No,” he rasps.
“Then there’s your answer.”
“I don’t know what to do about Sean and mymom,” he admits self-consciously. “They’re the only family I haveand I’m terrified to lose them.”
“No one understands what that’s like betterthan me,” I turn and hug him, pressing my cheek firmly into hisabdomen, “but they’re not the only family you have.”
Ryan clutches onto me. “I’m terrified to loseyou too.”
I must have paced back and forth a thousandtimes.
Ever since Ryan and Emily left for court thismorning I haven’t been able to sit still. Since I can’t set footanywhere near that courthouse, I sent Emily in my place for moralsupport. If I can’t be there for Ryan, at least he can have thenext best thing. I keep telling myself that everything will befine; the deal is on the table and has already been accepted. AllRyan has to do is stand in front of Judge Reynolds, plead guilty,sign some paperwork and leave.
So what the hell is taking so long?
The massive front door of my uncle’s homesuddenly swings open as Emily enters. She’s wearing a casual pantsuit with a long black coat, her dark hair pulled back into a lowponytail.
She’s accessorized perfectly, but is missingone key thing; Ryan.
“Hey,” I bum rush her. “Where’s-”
She puts her hand up, silencing me. The graveexpression on her face telling me something went terriblywrong.
“Em?”
“Alana,” her voice is shaky, and it lookslike she’s holding back tears, “Judge Reynolds was rushed to thehospital this morning with appendicitis.”
“What?” My voice is small.
“All of his cases were redistributed to otherjudges.”
The floor suddenly feels like it’squaking.
“Em, what are you telling me?”