“Alana!” he calls nervously when he seesme.
“Leave me alone!” I snap.
“Hey,” he says tenderly, like he’sapproaching a wild animal. I can’t even look at him. I recoil. “Areyou okay?” he asks completely invading my personal space.
“Am I okay?” I repeat. “Am I okay?” I yell,shoving him away from me. He doesn’t budge. He just stares down atme with a determined face that looks like he’s ready to engage inbattle. “No. I am not okay, I spent the last five years wonderingwhat the hell happened to you, and when I finally find you, you’re,you’re…” I can barely say the words, “Jack the fuckingStripper?”
If I could cry, I would.
“This isn’t happening.” I breathe rapidly, “Ithink I need a cigarette. No, I think I need like five, actuallyjust shove the whole pack in my mouth and light it on fire.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” he wraps his arms around meand hugs me. He smells so good. Like sweat and deodorant andRyan.
“Five years,” I mutter against his chest.
“I know,” he holds me tighter. “I know, I’msorry. I want to explain everything. Just not now.”
“Not now? Then when?” I urge, terrified if Ilet him go he’s going to disappear again.
“Tomorrow. Will you meet me tomorrow forcoffee?”
“Coffee?” I ask peculiarly. This is the guywho disappeared out of my life with no explanation, no phone call,no goodbye and now he wants to meet casually for coffee?WTF?
“Now, Ryan,” I demand.
“Tomorrow Alana,” Ryan pleads. “I’ll tell youeverything, tomorrow,” he says, and his voice sounds like a dream;a very bad, intriguing, promising dream. “I think you’ve had enoughbombshells dropped on you tonight.”
“Bombshell?” I sneer, “It feels more like ameteor hit me.”
Ryan steps back and I just stare at him. Myhead is spinning as I try to process everything that just happenedin the last twenty minutes. The guy I gave my heart and soul to-not to mention my virginity- has just reappeared in the mostunanticipated way my subconscious could have ever imagined. Of allthe scenarios, this never even entered the atmosphere.
“Alana, say something,” Ryan uttersanxiously.
I take a long, slow look at him; startingfrom his sneakers and working my way up, passing over his legs, themakeshift cover-up, his stomach, his chest, his face, his eyes. Iknow I shouldn’t believe what I’m seeing, but it’s here, in frontof me, he’s really here and… “Your penis has tassels,” Isnivel.
For a beat he’s stunned, but then he lets outa huge laugh and wraps his arms back around me; one around my neck,the other under one of my arms. My traitorous body tingles allover.
“I never thought I would touch you again,” hesays smoothly, his tone laced with emotion.
“That makes two of us. I hold onto himtightly. We stay clinched together for I don’t know how long.
“Do you want to go back inside?” Ryan asksafter a while. “I’ve had enough of the dumpster stench.” He looksdown at me with a pew face then slides his hands down my arms,intertwining his fingers with mine.
“Back inside?” I curl my lip, “Ah, no thanks.I think I’ve had my fill ofinsidewhen I watched you dryfuck Emily.”
He opens his mouth as if to protest, but thenfalls silent. Smart move, I’m a loaded cannon right now.
“Then where are you going to go?”
“I’ll wait in the limo and probably smoke acarton of cigarettes while I do.”
Ryan grimaces and I recognize that face, hewants to argue with me. But he’s resisting.
“Then I’ll stay with you.”
“Don’t you have to go back to,work?”
“They’ll be fine without me for a littlewhile.”