I instinctually fall silent, but I knowRyan’s not going to let me barricade my emotions for long.
“Alana, no wall.”
“I know, I know, battering ram,” I huffperturbed.
As I hash out my feelings and build up thenerve to talk about all my insecurities, Ryan’s phone rings on thetable. Talk about saved by the bell. He reaches over and looks atthe screen, then he curses under his breath. He hesitates for asplit second then answers it.
“Hey man,” he sounds annoyed.
I look down at him with an inquiring look.“Divan?” I mouth.
He shakes his head no. “Sean,” he mouths backand I involuntarily scowl.
“Yeah, in SoHo where are you? The city? Meetme?” Ryan glances up at me and I know I’m staring at him intently.“At a corner café on Prince…Okay, see you in a few.” He hangsup.
“He’s coming here?” I blurt out.
“Yes.”
I’m speechless; I’ve never actually met Sean,nor do I want to.
“Look, you can leave if you want.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I saw the look on your face when you foundout it was him. It’s okay. I don’t want you to beuncomfortable.”
“I won’t be uncomfortable,” I lie. He’s onlythe one who stole years of Ryan’s youth, ruined his future andripped us apart. What do I have to be uncomfortable about?
I realize if I’m going to be with Ryan, whichnot thirty minutes ago I said I was, I’m going to have to deal withall the baggage that comes along with him.
Which is some serious baggage; likeoversized, exceeding the weight limit, excess fees kind ofbaggage.
When Ryan and I were together five years ago,family problems didn’t come much into play. Both our families hadissues and instead of focusing on those, we focused on each other.It was our great escape, but it wasn’t realistic. I’m sure if westayed together, our household troubles would have eventuallycaught up to us. Which, I guess in a way, they ultimately did.
Ryan shoots me a skeptical look.
“What?” I challenge him. “I’m not bailing onyou. Not now, not ever. It’s not in my nature,” I smirk.
“Tough chick,” he quips.
“When I have to be,” I give him a quick peckon the lips then get up and go back to my seat.
If I’m doing this, I’m going to need morecoffee.
And maybe a bottle of tequila.
Ryan and I make small talk while we wait forSean. The tension in the air is so thick that even the couple atthe next table can sense it. They keep glancing at us like we’resuspected terrorists. I know Ryan is just as worried as I am aboutmeeting Sean. The waitress pours my third cup of coffee and, thanksto Sean, Ryan has let the evil demons conversation go. For now.Man, this has turned into one hell of a breakfast.
I look down as I take a sip of coffee, andwhen I look back up I see a version of Ryan walking towards me. Abadass, Slim Shady version. My whole body stiffens as heapproaches. Sean is tall and lean like Ryan, but his shoulders area bit broader then his torso. He walks the same, with a hint of aswagger. He’s dressed in an oversized white t-shirt and baggyjeans. His right arm, from what I can see of it, is covered withbright tattoos and if I had to put money on it, I’d say it’s a fullsleeve. He has on clean white sneakers and a black hat with a stiffbrim. I can’t see how long his hair is, but I can see his eyes.They’re exactly the same as Ryan’s; cobalt blue, the color ofopulent sapphires. Except his have a shiftiness about them thatimmediately puts me on edge.
“Hey bro,” Sean says as he clasps Ryan’shand. He pulls up an empty chair from another table and sitsbetween us.
He looks me over and then turns to Ryan,cocking his head, “One of your groupies?”
Before Ryan can answer Sean goes on, “Shedoesn’t look like one of your usuals.”
Usuals?