Asbury is also in my father’s courtdistrict.
“Who…who convicted you?” I swallow the lumpin my throat. There are several superior court judges who trycriminal cases.
Ryan clams up immediately.
“Who?” I press him.
“Judge Remington.”
I blanche. Of course, my father.
This story just gets better and better.
My head starts to pound, “Is that part of thereason why you stayed away?”
Ryan nods.
Holy hell, not even the creators of Law andOrder could make this shit up.
I turn over all of this new information in myhead. Ryan doing time for his brother, my father convicting him, mespending the last five years wondering what I did wrong, only tofind out it wasn’t my fault at all.
The world suddenly becomes a blur of delusionand reality.
There’s an unexpected shift inside me. Theplausibility I can give Ryan a second chance is suddenly real;alarmingly real.
I don’t know how to find the words.Expressing what I feel is challenging for me on so many levels, butI want him.
I’ve always wanted him.
I reach down and grab Ryan’s face, tilting itup to mine. He freezes under my stare; a blonde waterfall of myhair falling around us. I inch in slowly, without closing my eyesand press my lips gently against his. He doesn’t move, not amuscle, as our mouths connect. He just lets me in; in his heart, inhis head, and in his soul as he succumbs to my kiss.
And I do the same.
His hands suddenly trap my head in place ashe kisses me harder, his tongue reclaiming what was once his.
And it’s the exact same kiss from the cabana;slow and torrid and full of love.
“Can you stay?” Ryan asks out of breath andfull of need.
“Huh?” I answer a little starry-eyed. Thatwas one sidewalk-singeing kiss.
“Can you stay in the city with metonight?”
“Um,” I blink out of my haze, “I don’t thinkthat’s a good idea.”
Ryan looks disappointed.
“I need some time to think on my own. To sortthings out.” I look at my watch, 4:20 PM. If I leave now I cancatch the 5:07 home. Not that I really want to leave. Ryan. Everagain. But I need to hash out everything my brain is thinking andeverything my body is feeling.
“Will you walk me to Penn station?” I askhim.
He nods, reluctantly.
I start to shift off him, but he grabs me. Ican see what he wants, his eyes giving him away. But I can’t stay.Not today. But soon, I think. Very soon.
We head out of Bryant Park down Broadwaytowards the train. Holding hands the whole time. As we walk, Ican’t help but think about how surreal this day has been. Onechance encounter has rearranged my entire world and nothing isgoing to be the same. There’s still some fear in me though, thatRyan will pull another disappearing act. I believe everything hetold me, but putting my full trust in him again? That may take awhile.
Ryan and I make our way to Madison SquareGarden with people coming and going in every direction. There’s anoutside entrance to NJ transit, which is where I need to catch thetrain. I stand at the top of the steps, Ryan’s hands firmly aroundmy waist.