“Nope, I didn’t nor do I. But like I said, mybrother does. And he’s been known to use my name on occasion.”
“He impersonated you?” I gasp.
“Yeah, scumbag. He’d only used it for littlethings before, speeding tickets, disorderly conduct, crap likethat. But that time he got busted for possession and used myinformation when he was arrested. He knows my social, my driverlicense number not to mention he looks just like me, he’s myidentical twin.”
“So why didn’t you tell them it was Sean whoused your information?”
“I couldn’t.”
“Why?” I ask outraged. “He stole youridentity!”
“Alana,” Ryan tenses, turning his head awayfrom me, “you don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand,” I take his faceand force him to look at me.
Ryan feels so small now, not at all thatsexual powerhouse from last night or even the sexy confident guywho walked into Dean & DeLuca this morning.
“Sean going to prison would have killed mymother,” he says. “She begged me to help him.”
“Help him how?”
“He would have died in jail,” Ryan sayshastily.
The gears start grinding in my head, “You didthe time for your brother?”
Ryan puts his head against my chest and Ifeel him nod, “Sean’s been in and out of trouble his whole life.He’s emotionally unbalanced. He has anger management issues and ismanic depressive. That environment would have killed him one way oranother.”
“So you sacrificed yourself?”
“What other choice did I have?”
“You could have made Sean own up.”
Ryan huffs and drops his head back, “I wasbacked into a corner, I didn’t want my mom or Sean to suffer. Ican’t change my decision. I can only regret it.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Every goddamn day,” he looks me in the eyeswith a tortured expression; it breaks my heart right in two. Thoseyears must have been agony.
“You could have told me, Ryan. Sent me aletter, something.”
“I couldn’t. I didn’t want you finding me. Icouldn’t bear for you to see me like that. I’d rather have youthink I was an asshole then some convicted felon.”
“But you weren’t.”
“I looked like one.”
“Ryan, do you know what the last five yearshave been like for me? Wondering what happened to you?”
“I’m sorry I did that to you Alana, it’s allI can say.”
“I’m sorry too,” I look away sadly, wonderingif I will ever get over this gnawing pain. Ryan puts his fingerunder my chin to bring my face back to his, when somethinghorrifying dawns on me. “Where was Sean’s warrant issued?”
“Asbury Park.”
Fuck.
Asbury, which it’s also known as, has twosections. The eastern beach area with restaurants, shops and aconcert hall that is frequented by both tourists and locals. Andthe western side, away from the ocean, which is riddled with lowincome housing, dilapidated buildings, gangs and drugs.