I was insatiable when it came to Beau.
Sometimes we’d go down to the ocean for a swim, and on the weekends, if I wasn’t working, we’d walk around and find new places to eat at or sit on a bench and people watch. To me, it didn’t matter what we did; as long as I was with him, that was enough.
Beau was truly a good person down to his core, one of the most selfless people I’d ever met, and I wanted him to be mine.
Indelibly.
More than that, I wanted to be good for him. I wanted to slough off the last of my misgivings and open my arms to the love I’d stupidly denied. There was no way to truly erase the past, but Beau was teaching me that all I needed was someone who could cover the wounds for good. Someone who’d never reopen them, someone who’d cherish my feelings and bring only happiness into my life. Someone I wanted to do the same for.
He was, without a shred of doubt, that someone.
The guilt at how I’d handled his almost-confession had been eating at me for weeks, and I’d tried to make up for my reluctance to accept his love in other ways. But I couldn’t stop thinking about him and how he made me feel. Everything about him was addicting, every part of him undeniably pure. Who was I to make him feel like he wasn’t enough when he was more than enough? I wanted him and everything he had tooffer me, but I wasn’t able to recognize that his feelings perfectly mirrored mine.
Well, I was aware now, and I intended to let him know as soon as I got off work.
I’d left him a note this morning, but I was assuming, because he hadn’t texted or called, that he hadn’t found it yet.
That was fine. I would just tell him when I got there.
After work, I hummed the entire walk back to the apartment. It would beourapartment, soon enough. What a thought that was. It made me walk faster, and by the time I got through the door, my heart was racing with excited anticipation.
“Beau, darling, I have something to tell you!” I called out, slipping off my shoes and hanging up my keys. When I turned around, I froze.
“Whoa…what happened in here?” I said warily, eyeing the sudden garden my living room had become. It smelled divine, though.
And right in the middle of it all, looking as pretty as ever, was Beau.
He sat in the center of the couch, fingers twisting nervously together, and my heart cracked open.
With a small smile, I made my way over to him, cupped his face in my hands, said, “Hello, love,” and planted a soft kiss on his eager lips. He made a small sound in the back of his throat and curled his fingers around my wrists, holding me tight. I pulled away and stared down into his soft eyes, my chest feeling like it would burst with how full it was. “I missed you,” I whispered, brushing my nose against his.
“I missed you, too,” he said, so much emotion in his voice that it set my pulse racing and made my nerve endings catch fire.
“Beau, babe, did you get all these flowers for me?”
There were so many different emotions in his expressiveeyes that it was hard to parse them out, but I could clearly see the anxiety in them and I needed that to disappear.
“Yes,” he said. “You said no one had ever given you flowers before, and I—I wanted to do that for you. I may have gone a bit overboard.” His cheeks flushed with that last statement, so I sat down beside him, took his hands in mine, and looked around at the gorgeous array he’d set out. All forme.
My heart couldn’t take this.
I looked back at this beautiful man and said, “I love them so much. Thank you, Beau.” I lifted one of his hands to my lips and pressed a kiss onto his soft skin.
“Lea, I…” He swallowed hard, his thumbs brushing nervously against my hands over and over again. “There’s something I need to say to you, and I want you to let me say it. Please?”
Fuck, he was killing me. I held his hands firmly and said, “Of course. What is it, babe?”
His eyes bounced back and forth between mine, his face a deep scarlet. His voice trembled as he said, “I need you to know that I love you, Lea.” I stopped breathing as a prickling sensation started at the top of my head and slowly rolled down my body. “I love every part of you, and you—you will never feel the same, I know that, and I-I think I always knew that. I knew that and I still couldn’t help falling in love with you. I just needed to tell you, at least this one time, because?—”
I surged forward, taking his lips in a desperate kiss. My throat was too thick for words, and with one hand cradling the back of his head and the other pressing against his lower back, urging him closer, I poured every ounce of love and adoration and gratitude I felt into the kiss.
I was so undeserving of someone like him, but god, I loved him too much to ever let him go. When I drew back, we were both panting, and he was clutching at the sleeves of my shirt like he’d float away if he wasn’t holding on to me.
“Beau,” I rasped, rubbing my cheek against his.
Finally hearing those words from his lips was like being told I never had to worry about anything ever again.
Now it was my turn to make him feel that same soft security.