When that scent only made the heat coursing through me intensify, I held my breath.
“Why are you blushing, Beau?” Lea murmured, using his gentle grip on my chin to tilt my face up to his. My stomach clenched when he brought his other hand up, the tips of his fingers gliding along my cheek in a delicate touch.
Horror twined with the warmth spreading through me when I realized I was getting hard with that soft, gentle touch. Heat curled in my belly, pooled in my groin, and—and could he hear my heart slamming against my rib cage?
This was so embarrassing, so wholly, completely, utterly, embarrassing, and what if he looked down? What f he saw, what if—if?—
I panted, frozen in place and so humiliated I couldn’t meet his eyes, so I just stared at his chest right where his shirt parted to reveal his skin.
“Pretty,” he whispered, gently brushing the curve of my cheekbone with his thumb.
And then he chuckled, moved his hand from my chin, and patted my cheek, sliding his thumb down to my jaw before he turned away.
My embarrassment erupted into a burning shame at the gesture.
It felt almost patronizing, like something you would do to a child that didn’t know any better, and the first real flash of anger I’d felt in a long time swept through my veins. It was gone in an instant, leaving me standing there in a ball of confusion.
I wasn’t sure exactly what about that had made me angry, or if I was even angry at Lea himself. But I hadn’t liked it.
It made me feel insignificant and stupid.
I wasn’t sure if that was something he did with everyone or just me or what, and my brain was spiraling, trying to figure it out.
One touch from Lea, and my entire system was malfunctioning, a humiliating meltdown he seemed oblivious to.
Lea headed over to a plastic bag on the counter like nothing had even happened. Like he hadn’t just dragged all my insides out of my body, leaving me hollow and drained.
“I brought you something,” he said lightly, glancing at me over his shoulder. “I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I wanted to make up for being a shitty host and not having any food for you. Not that this is exactly…nutritional, but it’s better than nothing.” He pulled something out while I stood there, trying to calm my nerves and will myself to stop shaking. “Here,” he said, presenting me with a white box.
I looked at him, studying his expectant expression, then glanced down at the box.
“You don’t have any allergies, do you?”
“N-no,” I said.
“Okay, good.” He handed it to me and went back to unpacking whatever else was in that bag.
I opened the lid of the thin cardboard and stared at the assortment of fudge inside. It was a lot of fudge, and I wondered if it was expensive. I wondered how it would taste, if this was why Lea smelled so sweet.
I swallowed, and when I looked up, Lea was watching me closely. I lowered my gaze and shut the box. “Um, thank you, that was really kind of you to…” I trailed off. The stress of everything was suddenly weighing on me, and the anxiety that came with just being around Lea intensified. My next words got caught in my throat. “Th….”
I tried to breathe, to calm myself down so I could speak, but Lea was watching me. I could feel his eyes. He was probably judging me now, wondering why he’d allowed Shea to convince him to let me stay here.Me, some freak who couldn’t even?—
“Hey…hey, what’s the matter? What’s wrong?” There was genuine concern in his voice, none of the usual sultry playfulness inhis tone, and he came over to me and wrapped loose fingers around my wrists. “Do you not like it? You don’t have to take it, it was just a thought. There’s this cute little shop down the street that I passed on the way back, but I wasn’t sure what kind you might like so I just got everything. I can go out and get you something else if you’d prefer that?”
His thumbs brushed against my skin in absent little swipes, and I stared down at where he was touching me, in disbelief that he’d gone to any kind of trouble for me.
That he was touching me again.
“Beau? What’s the matter, love?”
I closed my eyes at his soft, sincere tone, inhaled deeply, then forced out in a rough whisper, “I love it. Thank you.” I was so mortified I’d reacted like this, but alongside that was surprise and a warm gratification that he’d bought me anything at all.
He squeezed my wrists in acknowledgement, then let go. “Okay. Good. Oh, hey—I don’t know if you like reality shows butTriple Loveis on at nine if you want to slum it on the couch with some popcorn and watch it with me? This episode is gonna be suuuper juicy because last week Jeremy went behind Beverly’s back and made out with Roger in the jacuzzi. He really messed up, Beverly is such a keeper. If I were him, I’d never get with Jeremy now. Roger isnasty. And not the good kind of nasty.”
There was a good kind of nasty?
I took a step back and shook my head, not having a single clue what he was talking so animatedly about. “I’m really tired, sorry.” I wanted to say more, to give a better excuse, but it seemed like I’d hit my capacity for conversation today. I just needed to be alone at this point.