And everyone was smiling. Happy. Laughing. Talking excitedly. Nobody stared at me, or gave me weird looks, or leaned into their friends with hushed whispers. People were too busy minding their own business to notice me. It was…nice. Really nice.
There were so many shops, none of them the same as the last, and I could see three signs from here that looked like restaurants of some sort. The street lamps all had multicolored garlands wrapped around their poles, like every day was a festival. I crossed the street and stopped outside a storefront that looked like some kind of sandwich shop and stepped closer to read the menu that had been blown up and pinned by the door.
All my muscles clenched up when I saw the rainbow flag that was hung above the doorway.
I stared at it for what felt like hours. When someone brushed past me with a mumbled, “Excuse me,” I jerked to the side and looked away.
Then back at the flag.
It was a simple thing, just a colorful flag. But the sight of it, hanging proudly above the door for everyone to see, was jarring—and nobody even said anything. Nobody was angry about it. People weren’t hollering at the shop owner to take it down. They just passed beneath it, hardly acknowledging it at all. Like it was normal. Like they saw this very thing all the time.
Shea had told me things were different here. I guess I hadn’t really believed him.
With a deep inhale, I grabbed the door handle and went inside.
It was a little crowded, so I got in the back of the line and shoved my hands in my pockets, feeling unsure. About myself, about being here, about what I’d seen. Everything. I tried to shuffle those feelings of uncertainty aside and looked at the menu, picking a few sandwiches out that would hold me overfor the next day or so as something like hope began to unfurl in my chest, blooming hesitantly.
Maybe I didn’t have to leave Blue Harbor. Maybe I could stay. Put down my roots here, let them grow. Spend time with Shea. Learn how to swim. Learn how to…to be myself.
I just had to find somewhere to live other than Lea’s apartment. That man was going to be the death of me.
5
BEAU
“Sorry, sir, we’re completely booked.”
“For the whole summer?”
“Yes. Sorry again, sir. Have a good evening.”
Click.
I dropped the phone beside me on the bed and threw one arm over my eyes. Well, this was not ideal. Not a single hotel in the area had any available rooms. I was stuck here.
Fine. That was fine. I could do this. I’d just buy some ear plugs. And a sound machine. Just completely block out the world around me.
My phone buzzed, and a picture of Shea’s smiling face appeared on the screen. I sat up and swiped to answer.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey. How’re things going there?”
“They’re fine,” I said. “I’ve just been working. Went out and got some sandwiches at lunch today.”
“Oh yeah? Where from?”
I scrunched my eyes closed and tried to picture the name of the shop, but all I could see was that rainbow flag. “Um…I’m not sure. I don’t remember the name. It’s a little down the street from here…?”
“Probably Artie’s. Pride flag above the door?”
My stomach swooped. “Y-yeah. That one.”
“They’ve got the best tuna melt in the state. Damn, now I want one, wanna go when I’m back?”
“Oh…yeah, we can do that.” I wasn’t used to people wanting to spend time with me. I mean, yeah, Shea was my brother, but he felt a little like a stranger nowadays. He’d changed as much as I had, and though the echo of our time together as kids reverberated around us, it wasn’t the same now. It was too hollow, and a part of me was afraid we might never be as close as we once were. That something fundamental to our relationship had broken and there was no way to repair it.
“Just say when and I’ll be there. How’ve things been? I know it’s probably not easy, sleeping somewhere new, but that bed’s not too bad. No problems or anything?”