I couldn’t do any of this without Drew.
I couldn’t live without Drew.
I couldn’t love without Drew.
I couldn’t breathe without Drew.
How was I supposed to survive this without Drew?
I watched silently as the paramedic continued to work over him, placing a mask over Drew’s face, the heel of his hand rubbing over Drew’s chest doing God knew what. My muscles were now frozen as the paramedic rocked back, placed the paddles against Drew’s chest and shocked him again, pausing to watch for a reaction.
Any reaction.
The machine’s screen maintained that straight line.
The whining of the machine played that consistent torturous sound, taunting me with its lack of life.
Unwilling to give up, the tech replaced the paddles and dropped one hand to Drew’s wrist, watching his screen. I stared at Drew’s chest, at the patches of ink… at my name tattooed on his heart, and I waited for those breaths to come back as words of silent prayer fell from me.
“Breathe. Please, Drew, breathe.”
I leaned in, my forearms on the edge of the gurney as my lips moved closer to his ear.
“We need you, Drew. Weallneed you. Breathe. Please. Just. Breathe. I love you. Please.”
“Just. Breathe.”
“Just. Breathe.”
“You promised me, you son-of-a-bitch.” My voice cracked. “Breathe, goddammit.”
The last words tore out of me in rage, but the sound in my throat died with another wail of the siren. I stared at the man I loved with all I had, and I silently pleaded one last time.
Please.
At once, emotion caught in my throat, and I saw Drew pull in a breath only a second before the monitor beeped in that slow stuttered rhythm again.
Alive?
He wasalive.
For now.
But it was a start, and my Drew never quit on me. Not after he’d made me a promise.
I watched vigilantly, breathing with him.
In and out.
In and out.
Silently begging him to stay with me while my hand held his and my tears fell.
When the ambulance finally came to a violent stop, the doors were yanked open from the back of the ambulance, and a whole team of people greeted us in a cacophony of sound and motion.
Voices, loud and controlled, shouted over one another, making me gasp with surprise and blink against the shock of my reality.
Medical terms were thrown about, and hands tried to grab at me, pulling me away from Drew.