But then Beth heard footsteps. She looked up from her position on the floor to find Kamal racing towards them, his face filled with a horror that haunted her even now. He’d heard the screams. He’d come running. Like Beth, he too thought Janine was gone.
The only reason Katherine was still alive was because of Kamal. If he hadn’t appeared, Beth knew what she would have done. She would have become a murderer too, a fact that terrified her. It almost made her understand how Katherine snapped in a moment of white-hot rage. Almost made her realise how close humans are to animals.
Almost.
Nausea clogged Beth’s throat as the worst of her memories threatened to pull her under, but then Janine’s face broke into a smile.
‘I’m good,’ she said. ‘Glad we’re all here.’
‘And you’re sure you’re okay?’
‘I don’t have a headache, if that’s what you’re asking.’
Janine saw how Beth tried to laugh at the joke, but she knew her sister struggled to make light of the impact of that day. Janine couldn’t blame her. Beth had visited every day during Janine’s weeks in hospital. She’d seen how headaches were the tip of the iceberg when it came to the trauma legacy of her injuries.
Taking her sister’s hand, Janine tried to silence Beth’s worry. ‘Really, I’m okay.’
With that, Janine turned to witness the event they had gathered for. After a moment, Beth did the same.
Beside a hole in the ground stood a proud sapling, ready to be planted. Beside that stood a man whose face wore the pain of losing the person he loved most.
‘I’m going to keep this short because public speaking was more Lex’s forte than mine,’ Otis began, his self-deprecation breaking the nerves jangling the air. ‘Today is for Lex. A day where I choose to look at the people who are here to honour my wife and the friends I’ve made. Where I see Annalise and Simon and remember how something beautiful has come from the darkness.’
Everyone’s attention flicked to Simon and Annalise, lingering on her well-rounded stomach. The hope of a new life, thanks to Alexa’s generosity. A kindness Otis vowed to spend his life passing on through The Alexa Clarke Foundation, a charity set up to fund and support people through IVF, miscarriage and beyond.
Turning from the crowd, Otis looked to the small oak tree beside him. During their first visit to Denmark, Alexa had taken him to seeKongeegen, the ‘King Oak’, famous because it was possibly the oldest oak tree in Europe. To Otis, it seemed fitting that he would honour his wife, his queen, in such a way. May her tree stand tall for hundreds, if not thousands, of years, too.
‘Lex and I came here because we wanted to build a home together, forever. One look at these fields and Lex was sold on living here. A place wasn’t a home to Lex if it wasn’t at one with nature. So, I stand here, promising that I shall not remember this spot as where she died, but as somewhere she lived. I might not be able to stay, but she can, forever enjoying the view she adored.’
Fighting tears, Otis grasped the trunk of the tree and manoeuvred the roots into the hole. The strain of marking such a painful moment sent tears down his cheeks, the weight of his grief heavier than any tree ever could be.
With Bernie in tow, Jim broke from the crowd to help. The sight of two important men in Alexa’s life honouring her in such a way brought a lump to Janine’s throat.
When Jim and Otis were released without charge, an unlikely friendship blossomed between them. Who better to understand the impact of losing Alexa than someone who cared for her, too? Who better to understand the heartache of infertility than a man whose wife left him when they discovered he couldn’t have children? Jim and Alexa had bonded over the pain of not being able to start families, and now Jim and Otis had, too.
Together, the men lowered Alexa’s tree into the ground, settling it in its final resting place. Then, when there were no more words to be said, the crowd headed back to the house.
Annalise and Janine were the last ones to step over the threshold. Annalise’s fast-approaching due date and the stiffness in Janine’s hips saw to that.
‘Hurry up, you two,’ Gabby joked. ‘Janine, anyone would think you’d been through a horrific injury in the past, walking at that snail’s pace.’
Janine giggled. Gabby’s dark humour was one of the things she loved most about her, although most people couldn’t understandhow Janine could laugh at such a horrific turn of events. Then again, Janine always coped with life’s cruellest tricks in her own weird, wonderful way.
Sometimes it was through lying.
Sometimes it was through joining the search for a missing woman.
Sometimes it was laughing in the face of the pain that would underpin the rest of her days.
When everyone was inside, Otis pulled Janine to the side. ‘Can we talk?’
Janine nodded and hung back, waiting for everyone to file into the kitchen for the refreshments Gabby had prepared. When they were alone, she faced Otis. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘As fine as can be expected, but I wanted to speak to you about something.’
‘Oh?’
‘Gabby and I are packing up Lex’s office tomorrow ahead of the move. I haven’t touched it since she… since she left. It’s where Lex kept the things that mattered most to her. You might think this is odd considering you and Lex only met once, but I was wondering if you wanted to take something to remember her by?’