A diary the police know nothing about.
A diary I didn’t tell them about, but how could I? DS Mullins already looks at me suspiciously. Imagine how it would sound if I told them I secretly went to Families United and foolishly used my sister’s identity?
The police are already interviewing people from Families United. They will find Simon there and figure it out, I tell myself.You did nothing wrong.
I lift my forehead from the door and tap it onto the wood two, three times, as if to hammer the reassurance into my skull.
‘Janine?’
Turning, I find Kamal standing a few feet behind me, gnarled with worry.
‘What did the police want?’ he asks.
‘They… they found a bloodied tennis ball at the back of Otis’s house. They’re testing it to see if it’s Alexa’s blood.’ The words don’t seem real even when I say them out loud.
‘Fuck,’ Kamal whispers. ‘So they think he’s hurt her?’
‘It sounds that way, but I don’t know, Kamal. Otis seems so…’
I trail off as Kamal’s eyes flash with fear. ‘I thought you weren’t seeing him anymore?’
‘I’m not,’ I reply quickly. ‘The police were here to go over my statement in case I’d missed something.’
‘Did you tell them you wouldn’t know of any developments? That you’ve not been around Otis Clarke for days now?’
My smile strangles itself. ‘Of course. I’ve got nothing to hide.’
Upon hearing those words, Kamal comes to me and wraps me in a hug. ‘Let’s leave this to the police to sort now, hey? This has been scary enough.’
‘Definitely,’ I reply, but as I hold my husband close, I can’t help thinking one thing: how can the police sort out anything when they have only been told a fraction of what’s going on?
CHAPTER 35
Having the police at the house was stressful, but knowing the news would quickly spread through the village was somehow worse. Barely fifteen minutes after they leave, Natalya messages me.
Franny Henderson is saying that the police are at your house. Is it true?
The question makes me so anxious that I want to stay home all day, but I can’t give my nerves their usual power. Not when I promised Gabby I’d go with her to confront ‘S’.
In the safety of my office, I google ‘Café Marco’. My intestines knot when I read that there are three cafés with that name in the UK. Two are over three hours away. One is in Saddleforth. My mouth dries as I read the address, the likelihood of Simon being ‘S’ growing with every second.
Grabbing my phone, I message Beth.
I need you to cover for me with Kamal again. I promise I’ll make it up to you x
Beth calls seconds after reading the message, but I ignore her and get ready to go out.
‘Beth’s asked if we can meet again,’ I shout from the bottom of the stairs, stuffing my feet into a pair of boots so I can leave as soon as I’ve dropped the excuse. ‘She needs to chat about Mila.’
Kamal appears on the landing. ‘Again? Is everything okay?’
‘Beth was saying how difficult Mila’s behaviour is,’ I say, reaching for the doorhandle. ‘I think she just needs someone to reassure her that she’s a great mum and Mila won’t grow to be a teenage delinquent.’
‘Anything I can help with?’ Kamal calls as I open the door. Guilt bites at me.
‘It’s a sister talk kind of thing. Don’t worry, it will all be fine,’ I reply before scurrying outside. I know I’ve left my husband wearing an expression that looks a lot like worry, but I can’t care about that when one p.m. is creeping up on me.
It’s only when I’m behind the wheel that I remember Families United isn’t the only time I’ve heard Saddleforth referenced in relation to Alexa Clarke. Days ago, in the village store, Mary confessed that Franny Henderson saw Alexa there with another man. The memory does little to dissuade me that Annalise isn’t going to have her heart broken in all this.