“Mackey will keep him safe. Breathe, Ryder.” Charles kept a hand on him, steadying him on his feet.
Roper found his feet, then headed for them and climbed the fence. “Did you see, Ry?”
He knew that meant,I’m okay. Don’t worry. I was scared, but I’m okay.
“I did. Good ride!” He settled back into his chair with Charles, a cold sweat covering him.
“Good ride, Roper.” Charles gave Roper a quick round of applause and sat as well. That arm settled behind him again, but this time on his shoulders, not the chair. “What do you need?”
He blinked a little. Nobody ever actually asked him that. “I guess—I’m… I’m good?”
He wasn’t sure because his hands were shaking just a little bit as he had his Coke, but it settled out pretty quick.
“You are okay, and Roper is safe, but is this too much? Do you need a break?” Charles’s thumb was stroking his shoulder.
He did, but he wasn’t sure that he could, not with Rope and Sky and them just sitting up there watching. He thought that maybe Sky would get it.
But Rope? Rope was one of those lucky sons of bitches who’d just managed to not ever get too-too bad hurt.
“Let’s take a walk.” Charles stood and offered him a hand up.
“Sounds good. Let’s go.” He took the hand without thinking about it too terrible hard. Then he let Mister Charlie lead him up and out of the stands.
Mister Charlie just nodded to Sky and Rope and everyone as they went by like this was just normal, like they were going to get a beer or whatever, and nobody seemed to think anything of it. But they didn’t stop at concessions, they walked right on by and ended up in a quieter spot away from all of the noise.
“I hope you don’t mind that I just made the decision for you. You seem a bit shaken, and I thought you could use a quiet minute.”
“I might could use it, for sure. It’s the first time I’ve been back.” It was the first time he’d been to an event since he retired. The first time without his skull in thirty pieces. The first time he was able to attend without barfing.
But he wasn’t going to say that. He was just gonna stick with—this was his first time back.
“I wondered if that was the case. You seem to be having a bit of a trauma reaction.” Charles rubbed his back, warm palm moving in slow circles.
“I’m sorry. That’s embarrassing. I apologize.” His cheeks were on fire. He thought he’d been ready. He had to be ready.
“Not in the least. It just means you’re human.” Mister Charlie’s voice was low and soothing. “It’s a perfectly natural reaction to be worried about your brother now that you fully understand what a wreck means.”
“Yeah. I don’t remember it, though. Not at all. I remember getting on the plane at the airport on the way to the event, then being in the hospital.”
“It’s possible that part of you does remember it. But emotionally, you understand it all the same. You’re not here to take care of your brother anymore. Now, all you can do is support him.”
His belly drew in, and he suddenly felt a cold chill flood him. “I think I need some water.”
Charles’s hands were on him, moving him to a bench. “Sit. Close your eyes. I’ll get you a bottle.” He was alone suddenly, as Charles hurried off.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
He was such an idiot. What was he doing? What the hell was wrong with him? Mister Charlie was gettinghimwater!
“A sip. Slowly.” It felt like Mister Charlie had been gone forever but was back, sat beside him now and holding the bottle for him.
He took a small sip, and he could hear it splash in his belly. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”Please don’t tell on me.
“I don’t understand. Forgive you for what? You don’t have anything to apologize for. Have another sip.” Mister Charlie held the bottle to his lips again.
He took another drink, a deep breath. His cheeks were burning, but he managed to talk himself down out of this weird-assed tree he’d climbed.