“Yeah. I’m sure. Seriously.” He stood there, totally lost. What was supposed to happen now? “It’s not every day you bring your broken not-ex home, man. I get that.”
“You need to eat something, babe.” Beck put a hand on his walker. “Sit down, please?”
“You too? I promise to be good.” He wanted to not be a fuckup, just once.
“You’re not four, Sky. That’s not a promise you need to make.” Beck winked at him and picked up his fork again. “We’re going to run into this stuff, right? We have to be patient with each other, that’s all.”
“Yeah.” He sat and told himself to chill. This whole situation sucked for him, but more for Beck. He rode. He took the risks. Beck didn’t.
Part of him knew that this was why they’d broke up, if he was honest. The jealousy was one thing. The travel. But the real thing was the risk. He lived a life where no day was the same. Ever. Beck had wanted him to be more steady.
Sky couldn’t get it through the bastard’s head that he didn’t have any marketable skills. He rode bulls. This wasn’t the Wild West. He was a novelty.
“The steak is good. I seasoned them pretty well, I think.”
He didn’t understand how Beck could move on like that. Like he hadn’t just set Beck off. Like they weren’t talking about the sex they could and couldn’t have one minute ago.
Like everything was fine.
“You did.” In his world they would have a little chest bumping and a beer. The rules in Beck’s world were different. Lord have mercy, Parker would be rolling over this.
He wondered where the guys were—he wasn’t even sure what day of the week it was, much less where the league was this weekend.
“Mm.” Beck waved his fork and finished chewing. “Did I tell you I have court in the morning? Second-parent adoption. I’ll be gone until lunchtime. I’ll get you set up in bed before I go, but if you need anything, I’ve got Maddie up the road on call for you. Her husband broke his hip two years ago, so she gets it. She has a key and everything. I’m sorry there wasn’t time to introduce you first, but you’ll like her. I trust her.”
“I’ll be okay. No worries.” He could use the time to practice walking. As soon as he got cleared to walk, he’d get his truck back. Then his options would open up, and Beck wouldn’t be all worried about him.
Beck laughed. “You telling me not to worry is a waste of time. I worry. You’ll have to get used to it. I got you a bunch of those puzzle books you used to do. They’re next to the bed.”
“Thank you. I don’t sleep so good right now, so that’ll be something quiet to do at night.” He ate a bite of potatoes, and they tasted just right.
“I’m sorry, babe. It’ll get better. Maybe not being in the hospital will help, you know? Being in a real bed?”
“I’m sure.” That was an easy answer. “I got more rest this afternoon than I have in…” Four years. “…forever.”
“You were really out. I was happy that you felt like you could relax. Those meds are no joke though, huh?”
“Everything hurts.” Everything. “I swear I’ll wean myself off. I don’t need much longer. A couple days.”
Beck waved a hand at him. “I wasn’t nagging. You needed that rest. It’s not like you’ve got Stormy’s issues.”
“No.” His little brother was hooked on anything the bastard could shove in his mouth. “I’m nothing like him.”
Beck took his hand and squeezed it. “You’re not. You have a whole life ahead of you.”
Oh.
He held on, suddenly shaking. He sucked in a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.
“You okay?” Beck stood up and moved closer, then kneeled next to him, taking both hands instead of just one. “God, you’re shaking.”
“I’m sorry.” Beck couldn’t pretend not to notice him worth a shit. “I’m sorry. It’s not real.”
He got a sigh and an indulgent look. “Looks real to me, but cowboys are always fine. I forgot.”
“I haven’t been fine in a long goddamn time.” He snapped his lips together.Please. Please, God. Let me not have said that out loud.
Beck met his eyes calmly, still holding his hands. “You want to talk to me? I’m listening.”