“You want some help? You should come out on the deck and see the view. The steaks need a little longer than I thought, they’re thick.” Beck didn’t wait for an answer and stepped right into the bathroom with him.
“I’d like to see.” He shot Beck a glance. “I hate feeling like a drag.” He was used to being broken, but he wasn’t good at it.
Beck helped him to his feet, turned his walker around for him, then got out of his way. “I understand why you feel that way, but you’re not a drag at all.” Beck kept talking while he made his way out of the bathroom. “You’re going to love the deck, and it’s walkout height so no evil steps to navigate.”
“Is there a view?” He did this, one step at a time, reminding his body what it felt like to move, to do what it was meant to. It felt a little easier this evening.It’s the rest, he thought.Maybe it’s Beck.
“Yep. Green mountains. This time of year, the sun lights them on fire when it goes down. You’ll catch the tail end of it.” Beck was following a few steps behind, not rushing him, not impatient at all until Beck popped around him suddenly. “Oh, let me get the slider for you.”
“Thanks.” He managed the walker, got outside, and took a deep, deep breath. Outside. Outside.Oh, Christ.
Beck moved in close behind him, giving him an excuse to lean. “Not a lot of light left, but it’s a perfect night. Now we just have to keep the critters from coming after the steaks.” Beck laughed, vibrating against his back.
He nodded because he didn’t have a single word in his head. All he could do was stare, lean and breathe.
“Are you okay?” Beck squeezed his arm. “You want to sit? Are you tired?”
“I’m okay. Outside.” It felt so good, and for the first time, he thought he could heal.
“Yeah, we—oh. Yes. I guess it’s been a while.” Beck tucked an arm around him. “The air must feel good.”
“Yeah. It’s fucking beautiful.” He breathed in Beck and trees and smoke and sunset and damn, it was fine.
“You want to give the steaks a flip? They’ve probably got a nice char.” Beck moved a step toward the grill. “Come see.”
“They smell good.” He made his way across the deck, careful not to trip on the wood. The steaks were lovely, these amazing slabs of meat.
Beck nodded, handing him the tongs. “We’ll have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Go on. Get your grill on.”
“I can do that.” He flipped them and tested the doneness. Not yet. “These are gorgeous. I can’t tell you the last time I had a steak.”
“We used to grill a lot, remember? I thought it would make a good welcome home dinner. Sorry there aren’t any coals to poke at, the grill came with the house. The gas is hardwired. Cooking for one, it’s been great, but I guess you might miss the charcoal.” Beck hovered close, probably in case he decided to fall on the hot grill.
“I’m not a purist. This is nice. Especially in the winter, huh? My trailer’s got a little grill off the back. Did you get to see it before Parker borrowed it?”
“I did. It was…small. I actually gave him the trailer, babe. I loaned him the truck, though.”
“Did you?” Huh. Well, someone needed it, and Parker would be his first choice too. “At least you knew he can use it.”
“Oh, good. You’re not mad. I mean, he seemed like he did need it, and you have a house…”
He had a house. It was a sweet thought, but he didn’t, did he? Beck had a house, and Sky was here, but what did he do when something happened, and he was in trouble and Beck didn’t want him there?Christ.“Nah, Parker was all freaked about it and now I know why.”
“I wasn’t keeping it from you. I hadn’t found the right moment to bring it up.”
“Babe, it was a used trailer. It served its purpose. Parker will bring me anything he didn’t give you.” He watched the steaks, getting a little lost in the smoke. “I care about my truck some, but Walter is important.”
“Are you kidding? Walter already owns me.” Beck laughed. “We’ll get your truck back as soon as you can drive it. Parker knows. We’ll give him some warning so he can find himself something, and then we’ll go get it.”
“Soon. I have faith.” He tried not to snort. He was spending all his energy standing up.
“Soon.” Beck kissed his cheek. “Do those seem done? I’m hungry.”
He touched them to test, the firmness dead on. “I think they’re good, yeah. You got a plate?”
He knew Beck would, and, sure enough, there was a sexy little stoneware plate waiting. They were new—or at least post-him. They’d had this wild Corel shit from his granny. Now Beck had gone Fiesta. Excellent.
“Did you really need to ask?” Beck held it for him and he pulled the steaks off the grill. That took more energy than it should have. “I got these. You want to head in?”