“I’m not good with my words, honey. You should know that by now. I’m better at proving how I feel with my actions, but,” he glanced down at me, running a finger along my jaw, “I want you to know that I love you, Olivia Hart, with everything that I have. Every last, broken piece of me. You’ve brought color to my life again. To Harper’s life, too. And I don’t want to lose you.”
I closed my eyes as I let his words, his declaration, wash over me. It was everything I wanted and everything I didn’t deserve. Duke deserved better than me. He deserved someone who could give him everything. A person who wouldn’t need to make concessions to spend time together or be gone for weeks on end.
“Say something,” he whispered, and it made me want to die. “Please? I just—fuck—I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Duke, I—” I stopped, pulling back. I could say the thing I longed to say most, but wouldn’t that be worse? Like pouring salt in a fresh wound. I loved him, but I couldn’t be with him. I couldn’t stay. “You know I can’t—that I don’t know?—”
Gently, he untangled his arm and stood, quietly slipping on his shoes as I sat there, still dangling my feet in the water. I looked up in time to see him swipe a tear from his cheek as he stared out over the lake.
“Thank you for the walk,” he said, clearing his throat. “It’s been a long day. Too much sun. I think I’m going to get some sleep.”
Duke didn’t say anything else as he turned and headed for the house, and I said nothing to stop him. I was left sitting in silence, too dumbfounded and stunned to speak.
While I was heartbroken and devastated for the truth of our reality, I also found myself growing angrier at the way we’d both handled things. How many times had we spoken about what we could or couldn’t do? How many times had I mentioned I couldn’t stay? That I had a duty to my family’s legacy before I had a duty to my heart?
We might not have explicitly said we shouldn’t go falling in love with one another, but I thought it was implied. From the very beginning, we acknowledged the fact that starting anything between us would only end in heartbreak.
Before I could stop myself, I was angrily pushing to my feet, shoes be damned, and storming into the house after him. I could hear our family outside, laughing and joking and having a wonderful time, while Duke and I were fighting for our lives.
By the time I made it up to my room, I saw Duke standing near the window, staring down at the scene below. His back wasstraight, muscles coiled with tension. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Olivia, I can’t?—”
“You could’ve stopped it too, you know,” I said, stepping into the room. I closed the door behind us, hoping it would muffle the noise of our argument. “I didn’t ask you to fall in love with me. And I didn’t—Duke, Itriedto tell you I couldn’t stay. I tried to tell you time and again, but you wouldn’t listen. And now look at us! We’re both in fucking agony.”
He didn’t turn around, didn’t even spare me a glance. “You’re right. I knew better than to hope you could love me, too. I thought…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I thought, Olivia. That I could change your mind, maybe? That I was worth staying for?—”
“You are!” I said, storming over to the bed. It was taking all I had not to come any closer. “You’re worth that and more. You deserve someone who will put you and Harper first. I can’t be that woman right now. If John were still alive, then maybe we would’ve had a chance. I could’ve spoken to him, figured out another solution, but he’s gone and I can’t.”
“Why do you want to run this company, Olivia? I mean, truly. What do you get out of it? Because it sure as fuck doesn’t seem like enjoyment.”
“It’s my family’s company. It was passed to me in a trust set specifically by my father. He wanted me to run it someday, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
“It won’t bring him back, you know,” he said solemnly.
His words were like a slap. “What did you just say to me?”
“Working this job, it won’t bring your father back.” This time, he turned to face me. His expression was nearly unreadable. “It won’t bring John back either. It doesn’t matter what they want because at the end of the day, they lived their lives the best they could, but you’re ruining yours by trying to make everyone else happy. Why can’t you see that?”
“How dare you?—”
“How many times have you told me how unhappy you are?” He turned on me, encroaching on my space until I stumbled into the bed. “How you wish things could be different? That you didn’t have to go?” When I didn’t answer, he raised his voice, “How many times, Olivia?”
I tried to think back, but couldn’t. Everything was blurring together until I couldn’t pick apart what was real and what was in my head. Or maybe it was the tears that’d finally started to fall? “I don’t know?—”
“Three times I asked you to stay. Three times I tried to convince you this was worth fighting for. And not just for me, either, but for your family out there who love you just as much as I do. And each time you said no. You told me you had to do what was right, even if it made you fucking miserable.”
I was rapidly losing control of my body. I couldn’t breathe through the pain anymore, so I let it consume me until I was numb. Until I could barely register the simmering rage behind his gaze. It wasn’t even aimed at me. Rationally, I knew that. And I knew we’d both look back on this argument with regret, but we were too far gone to pull ourselves back now.
“It was—We were?—”
“Don’t youdarecall what happened between us a mistake.” His voice broke, bright, beautiful green eyes lined with silver as he stared down at me. “I can handle a lot, but I cannot fucking handle that.”
“I wasn’t—I couldn’t ever say that, Duke,” I murmured, stepping forward. I reached for his hand and brought it to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss along the rough surface. “Our time together means more to me than anything.”
“Then I’ll ask again.” Duke’s eyes were locked on mine, trapping me. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. “Stay.”
“Duke, I?—”
“I haven’t asked for much, Olivia. In fact, I make a habit of not asking anyone for anything. I’d rather punish myself than inconvenience someone else, but I’m fucking asking for this now.” Before I could speak, he plowed forward. “Scratch that. I won’t even ask you to stay. Just don’t say goodbye. Don’t say this is the end. We can figure something out.”