I tried to push past her, but she grabbed my arm. “Wait, no! I’m sorry,” she said in a rush. “I don’t know why I said that. Of course, I know you wouldn’t do that.”
I clenched my jaw tight, giving a terse nod. “Thank you.”
Her hand fell away from my elbow, exposing me to the cool evening air. I hated it. Hated being reminded of her leaving.Even if she hadn’t brought it up in the first place, it still hung in the air between us like a rotting, rancid smell.
Olivia groaned, leaning up against the side of the house. “I wish you hadn’t kissed me.”
“Just what every man wants to hear,” I scoffed, hanging my head. The kiss had been stupid, but hearing her say she wished it hadn’t happened was too much. “Don’t worry. It won’t happen again.”
I only made it two steps before her voice stopped me dead in my tracks. “It isn’t because I didn’t enjoy it.” Slowly, I looked over my shoulder to find her staring at me with pleading, pain-filled eyes. “You should know that.”
“Then why did you say it, Olivia? Why twist the knife even more?”
On trembling legs, she stepped forward. “Because that kiss made me want things I shouldn’t. Things I have no business wanting.” Another step. “I hate that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the way your lips felt on mine since you walked away. Not even when my entire family is just inside. And you’re everywhere. I haven’t been able to get a moment alone because you’re here, in my house, and invading my space.”
“Then I’ll leave,” I said. Not like it was that easy, given I’d been drinking. “I’ll stay with Lukas tonight so I’m not bothering you any more than I already have.”
“God, you’re stupid,” she grumbled, closing the distance between us. “The problem isn’t me not wanting you here. The problem is that I want you too much.” Her gaze flicked to my mouth. “I want you so much I can barely stand it.”
Our lips were so close. All I’d need to do was lower my head a fraction to capture her mouth in a searing, brutal kiss. A kiss, I hoped, that would show her just how much I wanted her back.
I brought my hand up, cupping the base of her throat. My thumb hovered over her pulse. “Honey, I?—”
“I’m getting thirsty in here!” Lukas began to yell, though he was quickly cut off by his mumbled curses. “Ow. Jesus! What was that for?”
I groaned, dropping my hand and stepping back, leaving Olivia panting in front of me. “I can’t do this,” I whispered. “I can’t kiss you again knowing you’re just gonna walk away from me.” Once was my limit. It was a deal I cut with myself, which was a cataclysmic mistake because it had been too good. Felt too right.
“Duke—” she began, but I quickly shook my head.
“I’m going to leave with Lukas tonight. If Harper wants to stay with Charlie, I’m okay with it, as long as you are. I’ll pick her up in the morning.”
Her bottom lip trembled, the sight nearly sending me to my fucking knees. “What if I don’t want you to go?”
“And what about what I want?” I asked, turning her question back on her. “What if I asked you to stay?”
“It’s not the same.”
“Isn’t it? You want me to stay the night here, and for what? We aren’t going to cross that line, and it’s not going to change the fact that whenever your work calls, you’ll get on that fancy private jet and answer.” Forcing a smile, I said, “And that’s okay. I don’t understand it, but I can’t change your mind. Just like you can’t change mine.”
The image of her horror-stricken face was burned into my mind as I slowly backed away and headed into the house.
OLIVIA
“Areyou sure you have to leave?” I whined, watching my brother pack his suitcase. “Surely your crew can handle the fiasco by themselves.”
Lukas sighed. “Livvy, I already told you they can’t. The flooding is extensive, and I’ve got to figure out what the fuck went wrong and how to get it back on track.” He closed the hardshell, turning to look at me. “It’s only two days. Three tops. You’ll be fine here by yourself.”
That was where my brother was wrong.
Since the funeral, I hadn’t spent a moment alone. Most of my days were spent with Lukas, helping him with whatever menial tasks he had going on at work, while Charlie slept in my bed every night. Unfortunately for me, Duke had been true to his word and kept his distance, so there’d been no time alone together.
But now, Charlie and Harper were having a sleepover with Grady and Cleo while my brother was leaving to address some emergency at one of his job sites, leaving me to occupy my time on my own.
Pre-funeral Olivia was used to being on her own. In fact, she quite enjoyed the time to do whatever she pleased. But that felt like a lifetime ago.
Now, it was the last thing I wanted.
I didn’t want to think about John’s death or the repercussions awaiting me when I returned.