This wasn’t the time or place for such a display, but that didn’t stop us. I was so tired of being strong for everyone else. Tired of pushing everything to the side as I carefully treaded around their grief as though it mattered more than mine. All I’d wanted since that day was to call Duke and ask him to come over. To hold me. To press another kiss to my forehead like he had when he pushed his way into my house only days ago.
“He’s gone,” I whispered into Duke’s chest. “He’s gone, and I don’t know what to do.”
“I know, honey…” he said, cupping the back of my head with a large, warm hand.”I know. I’m here.”
My eyes were closed, but my family’s curious gazes burned a hole in my back as they stared. There would be questions later. Questions I wasn’t sure even had answers, but that was a problem for future Olivia, because I didn’t plan on letting go of Duke anytime soon.
“Where’s your car?” Duke asked, letting his hand trail down my back in soothing circles.
“I can drive,” I began to protest, but stopped the moment he placed his finger beneath my chin and tilted my head up until I was staring up at him.
“Let me take care of you. Where’s your car?”
My throat worked, full of grief and other emotions I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt before. How could this man I’d grown up withhave suddenly become one of the most important people in my life in less than a month? What did that say about me, that I turned to him in my grief rather than my friends? “I’m parked by Lukas.”
Duke looked toward Lukas, who pointed toward the cemetery’s entry gates. Then he glanced at Grady. “I assume you’re going to the house?”
Grady nodded. “I’ll take her SUV, and Cleo will drive my truck.”
I was vaguely aware of them making plans, talking about moving over Charlie’s booster seat to Duke’s truck, but instead of pushing them away and telling them I’d handle it, I let them take care of me.
“Come on, honey.” Duke wrapped his arm around my shoulders, never letting me go as we walked toward his truck.
Charlie’s hand found mine, squeezing gently as I had done to her earlier in the day. Glancing down, I worried if I wasn’t being strong enough for her. If I should’ve stood my ground and driven us home instead of being cared for. The last thing I wanted was to become my mother, so dependent on everyone else around her that she’d forgotten how to live.
But then I realized I never wanted my daughter to grow up believing she had to do everything herself as I did. I didn’t want her to lose her gentle heart, the one I found myself constantly in awe of. We had a solid support system—one that others could only dream of having. Why shouldn’t she learn that a vital part of taking care of herself meant leaning on those who love you to get through hard times?
Duke helped me into the passenger seat, reaching over to grab my seatbelt and buckle me in. I mumbled a quiet thank you as he quietly closed the door and moved to the back to help the girls get settled. By the time he made it to the driver’s side, Lukas’ truck was idling at the exit, waiting for us.
As he started the engine, soft music began filtering out of the speakers. Fresh tears filled my eyes as I recognized it as one of my uncle’s favorites. Duke reached over without hesitation and took my hand over the console, briefly bringing it to his lips before interlacing our fingers and letting them rest out in the open.
For the first time in a week and a half, I believed things might be okay.
DUKE
From across the room,I watched Olivia as she spoke to a round man in an expensive-looking suit. Gone were the tears from earlier. They dried up the moment we drove onto Lukas’ ranch. In their place was a look of perfectly practiced poise.
I wasn’t sure who the man was, but he looked important. Lukas told me that most people here were members of the board. While I understood their desire to pay their respects, now didn’t seem like the time or place for them to be hovering over the family like vultures.
When we pulled up to Lukas’s house earlier, the girls had quickly jumped out of the truck, leaving Olivia and me alone. Neither of us spoke. We sat there in the silence, holding onto one another. It’d taken every bit of self-control I possessed not to drive us away. If Lukas hadn’t knocked on the window, maybe I would’ve acted on it.
I wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there, but his gaze snagged on our interlocked hands before Olivia pulled hers away like we’d been caught doing something we shouldn’t have.
Once we got inside, Olivia had put as much distance between us as she could. Anytime I drew near, she found an excuse to leave the vicinity. Eventually, I grabbed a beer and parked my ass on Lukas’s couch, sinking into the leather.
At least this way, I could keep an eye on her without feeling like I was being overbearing.
If there was one thing I’d realized, it was that I didn’t want to continue living the miserable existence I’d trapped myself in. Olivia brought light back into my life and made me feel hopeful about the prospect of an infinite number of tomorrows. It wasn’t just my life, but Harper’s as well. I couldn’t remember the last time my daughter had been so happy.
I couldn’t—no,wouldn’t—go back to the way things were. I refused.
It didn’t matter if I had to spend the rest of my days trying to convince Olivia of the effect she had on our lives. I’d fucking do it.
Holy shit.The realization was sudden and fast and hit me like a goddamn truck. I wanted Olivia Hart, and not just as a casual fling or one-night stand.
I wanted her light, her laugh, her warmth in my life every single day.
I wanted to shake my head at every ridiculous thing that came out of her mouth knowing this was her world and I was just living in it.