“Philosophical, too.” I smiled, but it wasn’t genuine. “Is that why you won’t agree to treatment or a transplant?”
John looked down at his hands. His fingers, which had once been calloused from hours working in the woodshop with Lukas, had grown soft. There were bruises on top where he’d had bloodwork done at the hospital. An undeniable reminder of the sickness that was killing him.
“That’s part of it,” he said quietly. “I’m an old man, Duke. An old man who has lived an extraordinary life. I’ve traveled the world. I’ve loved and lost and loved again. I’ve helped build one of the greatest music empires in the country.” I saw the tears in his eyes before the first one fell. “None of that compares to the joy Lukas and Olivia have brought me. Though I was not blessed with children of my own, I helped shape them into the brilliant people they are today. I’ve seen them do extraordinary things in this life, and they will continue doing so when I’m gone. They are my legacy. I couldn’t give a shit about the rest, if you want the truth.”
“So, why not stay for them? Why not fight?”
He shook his head. “I’m tired, Duke. I’ve been fighting this disease for longer than either of my kids knows, and I don’thave it in me to fight much more. I just worry they’ll let my death hold them back.”
He took a breath before continuing. “Olivia, well… She’ll work herself to the bone if no one tells her not to. And life will pass her by in the blink of an eye. I know how much she loves theideaof her job—Hartstrings wouldn’t be what it is today without her—but it’s killing her. She hasn’t been happy there in years. Every time I try to talk to her about it, she shuts me down. There was a time, not long after Charlie was born, when I thought the tides were turning for her.”
“A woman can have a career and be a perfectly good mother, John,” I said, defensiveness sharpening my tone. Who was I? I barely recognized myself. “It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
“Don’t lecture me on sexism. I’m well aware. Olivia’s problem is that she lets the job consume her. The career she thought she wanted when she was a kid? She’s finding out that it doesn’t fuel her fire, but she doesn’t understand why. So she pushes herself harder and harder, but one day, she will break. When that happens, I won’t be there to help her pick up the pieces or realize why it didn’t work in the first place.”
I sat with his words for a moment, thinking back to the day I found Olivia sitting alone, drunk, in my bar. She’d looked so exhausted, and I’d been a dick to her for no other reason than I could be. In fact, I’d been a dick most of the time I’d spent in her company as of late.
Could it be possible that she was just as goddamn exhausted as I was? That she was just trying her best to give her daughter the best life she could, even if it was at the detriment of her own well-being?
“Come to think of it, I do have one regret,” John said softly.
“What’s that?” I asked, leaning forward in my seat. Whatever wisdom he was about to impart, I wanted to memorize it.
The pause stretched on until I worried something was wrong. His clouded eyes were haunted by something I couldn’t see or hear. A moment in his past that obviously caused him great pain. “I regret not telling Olivia that following in her father’s footsteps won’t bring him back. She should know. I should tell her.”
Reaching out, I covered his hand with my own. He felt so frail. “You will. You have time.”
This time, his laugh was brittle. “What a cruel thing to say to a dying man.”
“I’m choosing to believe it’s true. What can I do for you? I’m sure you didn’t just invite me over to talk about your feelings.”
“Is it so hard to believe I wanted company?”
“The company you had before I walked in is much better than my cranky ass.”
John tilted his head to the side, observing me closely. “Ah, that’s true. Nicer to look at, too.” My cheeks flushed, earning a smile from the man watching me so closely. “No, I didn’t need anything. I just wanted to see you. It’s been too long since you’ve come by.”
Guilt pricked at my conscience. It’d been over a month since I’d seen him. I kept telling myself I needed to stop by, but something else always popped up. Harper’s school and soccer kept me busy. Not to mention everything at work.
And I’d purposely avoided any place Olivia might have been just so that I wasn’t tempted to do something I’d regret.
“How about I bring Harper by this weekend after her soccer game? I’ll cook lunch. Maybe roll your ass out to the garden to eat?” I offered.
John nodded. “I think I’d like that. I do have one favor to ask of you, while you’re still here.”
“Whatever you need. I brought my tools, just in case.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’d actually like you to get Oliviaout of this house for a few hours. She’s driving me crazy. Ever since she got here, she’s been in and out of my office. Going through shit I haven’t seen or touched in nearly a decade, and wanting me to tell her if it’s important or not. I’m exhausted. I just want to rest.”
I blinked, clearly not expecting that ask. I mean, what? Was he asking me to take her out on a date or just tell her to leave?
“Why don’t you just tell her you’ve had enough for the day?”
John sighed. “Because then she’ll want to move on to some other menial task instead of just sitting down and enjoying the silence of the country. She’s forgotten what it’s like, I think. To enjoy life. Help her remember.”
“And you thinkIcan help with that?”
“Maybe not, but you can take her out for lunch or something, can’t you? Give an old man a break.”