“True,” I croak. My throat is so tight, I can barely release the word from my vocal cords.
She takes a step nearer. “Your accident happened on graduation day — that’s why you missed the commencement ceremony. True or false?”
“True.”
She nods. She already knew these answers. Deep down, beneath the lies, some part of her has probably always known.
“You can’t play baseball anymore,” she whispers finally, a long unspoken secret. “True or false?”
“True.” I run a hand through my hair. “It’s all true.”
Her eyes follow the movement of my hand, tracing the scars spiderwebbed across the surface. Memorizing the damage. They never shift away as she mutters a single word.
“Why?”
“Why what, Jo?”
“Whylie?” She practically spits the word at me. Taking two steps forward, she plants both hands on my shoulders and shoves me backward. I nearly trip over a dock line and sail straight into the water, only managing to right myself at the last moment. “Why keep all of this from me?” She keeps coming, shoving me again. I backpedal down the dock, aware I’m rapidly running out of footing. “Why hide the truth?”
“What was I supposed to do, Jo? Call you up and say, ‘Hey, I know you’re heading off to start your life in Switzerland but, by the way, I’m in the hospital with a broken hand, and my whole future is fucked?”
“Yes!” She screams the word so loud, three black cormorants burst into flight from a nearby rock. “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do!”
“How could I do that?”
“How could younot?”
“I’m sorry, okay?” I roar at her. “I fucked up. But you don’t know what it was like, that day—”
“How could I, when you hid it from me?!”
I grit my teeth. “I’m not defending myself. I’m just saying, it’s not as clear cut as you’re making it sound. If you’d been there—”
“Iwould’vebeen there if you’d let me!”
“I know that!” I yell back. “Don’t you think I know that?”
“I have no idea what you know or don’t know! I’m pretty certain your brain stopped working sometime last spring when you started screwing cheerleaders—” That earns me another shove; I rock backward on my heels, absorbing the blow. “—and pushing away your best friend!”
“Would you stop screaming for a second and hear me out?”
“No!” She pushes me again. I’m nearly out of dock. One more shove, and I’ll be sent sprawling into the ocean. Her anger has reached a boiling point. Nothing I say will calm her, in this moment. My words are falling on deaf ears.
Threading her hands up into her hair, she casts her eyes heavenward. “God! What thefuck,Archer? What the actual fuck? This is un-fucking-believable!” She’s swearing. She never swears. She’s looking at me like I’ve ruined her life, which sends guilt spiraling through me.
I was wrong to come here.
Wrong to listen to Tommy.
Wrong to hope this could ever be mended.
I should’ve just let her hate me for the rest of my life.
Her head shakes back and forth. “I don’t understand you! One day, you’re saving my life, the next you’re telling me to scram. Now, you show up here unannounced—”
“I didn’t come here to upset you.”
“Then why did you come?”