And I began to sink once more.
Without the distraction of baseball to focus on, my mind is on fire with thoughts of her. She is everywhere I turn — in the sun-dappled light on the waters of the cove, in the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks at night, in the sweet summer breeze that rustles through the trees. Her voice is a ceaseless melody, haunting me.
Having half of you would be worse than none at all.
She was right to walk away from me. I don’t deserve her. Not now. Not like this. I had no business crossing that line in the first place. Now that I have, there’s no taking it back.
I’d blame the alcohol for my actions, but that would be a lie. Sure, being wasted lowered my inhibitions. But those intentions were there all along, clawing toward the surface like a wild thing. It was only a matter of time before they broke free.
I’ve always been an active person — running six miles nearly every morning, lifting weights in my spare time, spending every free minute outdoors. In the aftermath of the kiss, I find I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning. In the rare instances I actually leave the house, I glower at anyone who even glances my direction.
My parents watch me with worried eyes, trading glances in the kitchen when they think I’m not looking.
Mijo, let me fix you something to eat,my mother suggests gently.You’re looking pale.
Come for a ride with me, son,my father proposes.Some fresh air will do you good.
But I have no appetite — not for food, not for activity. Not for anything except sitting in my bedroom, staring at the ceiling, wondering what the girl I love is doing at this exact moment in time. Wondering if she’s as consumed by thoughts of our kiss as I am.
After three full days of avoiding all human interaction, the door to my bedroom flies open. I look up from my phone to find my father standing there, glaring at me.
“Get up,” he says flatly.
“Pa—”
“Get. Up.”
I look back down at my phone. “I’m really not in the mood for a lecture.”
“And I’m not in the mood to watch my son impersonate a sloth.”
“I was going forslug, actually.”
“Well, mission accomplished.” Pa crosses into the room, grabs the phone out of my hand, and tosses it into the wastebasket.
“What the hell!”
“Three days, I’ve watched you mope around here like a lovesick schoolgirl. Enough is enough.”
“I haven’t been moping,” I grumble.
“You have. I know, because I’ve been where you are. Believe it or not, I’ve done my fair share of moping, in my day.”
My brows lift. “But you and Ma have been together… forever.”
“Your forever and mine are not the same.” My father sighs. “There was a time when we were young and life was hard and nothing seemed certain — least of all our future as a couple. Whatever you and Josephine are going through right now…”
I stiffen. “Who said anything about Jo?”
“Give me a little credit.”
I scoff. “You certainly picked a stellar time to start paying attention to my relationships.”
“I’ve always paid attention. I just don’t shove my opinions down your throat unless I really need to. I trust that, when it comes to your love life, you know your own heart best. Most of the time, at least.” He punches me lightly in the stomach. “Seems to me, what you could use right now is a bit of perspective.”
“I don’t need perspective. I need to be alone.”
“In my experience, a man only craves solitary confinement when the person he’d like to spend his time with isn’t an option.” He shoots me a look. “Don’t give up on her just yet, son. The road to enduring happiness is never smooth.”