“Temporarilylocked up. Once they catch whoever is behind the threats—”
“Right, right. I’ve heard it all before.” I throw my hands up in exasperation. “They’ll catch the bad guys and then I’ll be free! The guards will besuper chillabout me leaving the castle, spending nights out on the town, living like a normal twenty-year-old girl!”
“Almost twenty-one.” Her lips twitch. “Technically, your birthday isn’t for a few more weeks.”
“Great! Enjoy celebrating it without me. I’ll be here alone, with only the horses for company.”
“You’re being a bit dramatic.”
“Yeah, well, I’m fresh out of patience. These days, I can’t evenpeewithout someone hovering at the door, ensuring I’m not in need of assistance or protection from assassins. I swear, if I’d allow it, they’d cocoon me in plastic bubble wrap and carry me around, lest I accidentally bump into something. Any more of this, I’m going to startprayingfor a rogue hitman to put me out of my misery.”
Chloe tries — and fails — to suppress a giggle.
With a bitter scoff that puffs in the crisp air, I gesture around the desolate courtyard. “Laugh all you want, but I’m not joking. There are four guards trailing us right now —here, in the goddamned castle gardens! If you think I’m ever going to be allowed outside again without a full army at my back, you must still be high.”
“I did use my vape on the ride home…”
“Is everything a joke to you?”
“No. It’s not.” Her laughter fades. A worried crease appears between her eyes. “But this is the first time you’ve actually opened up to me about your frustrations. How could I know you’ve been feeling so stir crazy? I may be intuitive, but I’m not a mind reader. And every time I’ve tried to talk to you for the past month, you’ve…”
“What?”
“You’ve pushed me away.”
“That’s not true,” I insist, even though a nagging voice at the back of my head thinks maybe, just maybe, she might be right.
“Look, E, I get it. You went through something horrible. Something really fucking scary. You had the rug ripped out from under you right when you finally felt like you were finding your feet.I get it.” Chloe shrugs. “I’m not the clingy type. I won’t push to be in your life if you need space or time to process what happened at the coronation. I’ll be here, whenever you’re ready to let me back in. But… you can’t expect me to understand where your head’s at if you never open up.”
My stomach twists with guilt.
She takes a step closer and grabs one of my hands within her own. “You complain about being alone here, with no one but a horse for company. I don’t even think you realize that your isolation is self-imposed.”
“I’m locked in a castle! The King’s Guard won’t let me leave the grounds! That’s notisolation, Chloe. It’s incarceration. Nothing self-imposed about it.”
“I don’t mean isolated physically. I meanemotionally.” She sighs. “This past month, you’ve kept this… thiswallaround yourself. It’s like you’re holding back from everyone. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t break through.”
“Whatever, Cher.”
“See! That attitude, right there, is exactly what I’m talking about. You were always sassy but now you’re…”
My brows lift. “By all means, don’t stop now.”
“You’re caustic.”
“I’msosorry, I didn’t realize I was required to be a constant rainbow of positivity all the damn time!” I yank my hand from hers. “I suppose I should take a bloody page from your playbook and get high all the time to avoid ever feeling anything real! To avoid feeling anythingat all.”
She flinches as though I’ve struck her. I flinch too, stunned by the words that just came out of my own mouth. The longer they linger in the air between us, the more I want to snatch them back.
When did you become such a bitch to the people you care about, Emilia?
“Chloe,” I start, my anger abruptly gone. “I’m… I didn’t mean…”
“I get lonely too, you know.” Her voice is more vulnerable than I’ve ever heard it — stripped of her typical levity. “You might not have noticed, but I don’t have a lot of allies in this place either.”
My eyes are suddenly stinging.
Dammit.