“Did you know?”
My brows lift. “Wh-what?”
“Did you know, when you left me…” His knuckles are white as the porcelain tub. “Did you know you were pregnant?”
“No,” I whisper softly. “I didn’t know until about a month after. And, by that point, you…”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I was a fucking mess.”
I give a tiny nod of affirmation.
His eyes find mine again. “Just so we’re clear — nothing you say could make me walk away from you. You won’t lose me, Felicity.Never.”
I barely trust myself to speak. My composure is rapidly fraying as the tears pour out, faster and faster. I want to hurl myself across the distance, into his arms. I want to close this space separating us, until there’s nothing left but his skin on mine, his heart beating in time with my own.
“Ryder…”
“I’m sorry, too,” he murmurs. “For confronting you about it on stage. There’s no excuse, but you have to know, if I ever thought you’d actually sing it—”
“I know,” I assure him. “I sang it because… it was time. Time to let go of the past. Time to illuminate things long-hidden. Time to honor our son.”
His eyes are red. “Was he— How did—”
“About six months in.” My head shakes. “The doctors said it was nothing I did, nothing that could’ve been prevented. I just…” My throat clogs. “I lost him, Ryder.I lost him.”
I don’t see him move, but suddenly he’s there — his arms closing around me, pulling my face into the hollow of his neck. His mouth comes down to rest against my hair, breathing me in with ragged gulps. The dampness against my temple tells me I am not the only one in tears. And, two years late, we hold each other close, finally mourning together for the small life we created.
Eventually, when the grief has receded from a tidal flood to a manageable undercurrent, I turn my head up to meet his eyes. His forehead comes down to rest against mine. We’re both breathing hard. I feel his every pant against my lips.
“When Carly said you were gone…” His throat bobs. “I thought she meant you’d left me again. That you’d run. I thought… I thought I’d lost you.”
I lift my hands to his face, cradling it gently. “You’ll never lose me, Ryder. I told you… No more running. No more hiding. I’m yours. Come what may. Even when we fight. Even when you hurt me. Even when I hurt you.” I lean a few inches closer, until our lips brush in the faintest ghost of a kiss. “I’m yours and you’re mine.”
“Fuck the rest,” he mutters as he claims my mouth.
It’s meant to be chaste. A light, comforting kiss to soothe each other, after the emotional storm we’ve just weathered. But as soon as his lips hit mine, there’s no turning back. We kiss greedily, desperately. Our hands grasp blindly for zippers and buttons in the dark, stripping each other bare until all that remains is flushed skin against the cool porcelain.
My fingers trace my name over his heart as I stare up at him, marveling at the look of pure devotion in his eyes as they move across my naked skin. I breathe his name like a prayer as he slides inside me, slow enough to drive me wild, hard enough that I feel every unremitting inch of him. My legs slide around his waist, meeting his thrusts as he makes love to me like we’re the only two people in the world.
The star charts are wrong, I think, as my limbs begin to shimmer into moonbeams.We’re not constellations stuck in separate skies.
We’re the whole damn galaxy.
Chapter Thirty-One
ryder
“Boston!You’ve been absolutely great tonight.” I grin out at the crowd and they beam back at me. “I’m sad to say, this is our final show. But I think I speak for everyone in Wildwood when I tell you we couldn’t have picked a better group of fans to spend it with.”
It’s not a lie — I’m not sure what they’re putting in the water here in Boston, but the energy level has been off the charts since the second we stepped on stage. Unless… maybe it’s not the crowd at all. Maybe it’s knowing this is the last time we’re ever going to do this that’s making it all the more special.
My gaze sweeps from Aiden to Lincoln to Felicity, and I see they’re feeling it, too. It’s written on their faces — the bittersweet ache in their eyes, the half-smiles on their lips. There’s a tangible goodbye in the air all around us. An ending none of us are fully prepared to face.
“We’ve got one more song for you tonight,” I say, reaching out for Felicity’s hand and pulling her close. “I’m sure, by now, y’all know the words by heart… So feel free to sing ‘em loud along with us.”
As we walk to the end of the catwalk, Felicity keeps her eyes on mine. They shine like solid gold under the stage lights, and when we reach the platform, I can’t help myself. I lean in and lay one on her — a lingering, passionate kiss that makes the whole crowd go crazy all around us.
The notes start to play, the platform starts to spin, and we stare at each other as we start to sing…