“Zach,” she sighs out.
My hands are shaking now, but I keep the box steady because I need to be the strong one. “Please,” I say. “Forget Jenni. Forget all of the noise. It’s just you and me, Honey. Always. That’s all I want. That’s all I’ll ever want.”
She stares at the ring for the longest time.
“I can’t—” Her voice breaks. “Zach, no. Not now. I love you. I do, but this… it’s too much. I need more time.”
No.
She said no. The word hurts more than Chris’s punch ever could because for the first time since I started asking, she's given me a definitive answer.
She said no.
I can barely breathe. I’d take a thousand hits on the field before I’d take this one from her.
“Time?” I repeat, stupidly, like if I say it back it’ll sound less like a death sentence. “Honey, I don’t understand. You believe me, don’t you?”
“I do.” She’s crying so hard she can barely get the words out. “But that’s not—it’s not about that.”
“Then what—”
“I don't know!” The words explode out of her. “I don't know, Zach. I don't know anything right now. I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I don't know—” Her breath hitches. “I can't marry you when I don't even know who I am without you.”
The words slam into me, and suddenly I see it. Really see it.
She's not pulling away because she doesn't trust me. She's pulling away because she doesn't trust herself, and everything I'm doing right now—the proposal, the promises, the desperate attempt to make her see that we're solid—it's all just proving her point. That she doesn't exist outside of me. That she's drowning in my shadow.
I'm making it worse.
“Honey—” I start, but she's already standing, backing away from me.
“I'm sorry.” She's sobbing now, stumbling toward her dorm. “I'm so sorry, Zach. I just—I need time. Please.”
My entire body screams to follow, to fix this, to make her understand. But I don't move. Because I finally get it.
The harder I push, the faster she runs.
I stay rooted to the steps, the ring box still open in my hand, watching the door close between us. When the lock clicks, the sound echoes in my chest.
I drop onto the cold cement, my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands.
She believes me. She loves me, but somewhere along the way, she lost herself, and every time I tried to be her home, I became another place to hide from.
For the first time since I met her, I don’t chase. I just sit there in the dark, holding a ring she wasn’t ready for, praying that in the morning she’ll find her way back to me.
I knock on Jenni’s door.
It's barely 7am, and I'm standing outside her dorm in my work clothes—black slacks, cream blouse, the blazer that makes me look like I have my shit together even though I spent the entire night crying into my pillow because I couldn’t sleep.
How could I? Between Zach’s proposal, the most beautiful ring I couldn’t say yes to, and the text I got from Chris last night, I couldn’t just leave it.
The message still burns in my memory.
Chris:I went to see Jenni. I don’t know, Honey. Something doesn’t feel right. She acted weird and said things that don’t line up. I think she’s planning something, and I’m concerned she’s trying to hurt you through Zach.
I need answers. I need to understand what happened at Murphy's before this spirals into something that destroys Zach publicly.
The door opens.