“I was,” I admit, “but it’s not in the way you think. She asked me to meet her to finalize plans for your birthday tomorrow.”
“My birthday?” Her voice is soft, light, and almost confused. Not surprised she doesn’t remember it. She’s never looked forward to them because it always used to mean some ridiculous obligation cooked up by her parents.
“Yes.Yourbirthday. I was only there for you. We were planning on doing something after my game. I’d already invited the guys and hired a babysitter for Ella.” The words spill out of me so quickly, they barely sound coherent.
Her brow scrunches. “But it was just the two of you? Discussing this at a bar off campus?”
“Yes.” I run a hand through my hair, knowing how bad this sounds, but not knowing if there’s anything I can do about it. “She asked to meet there because she didn’t want people to get the wrong idea.”
That makes Honey bristle.
“She told me Chris was supplying the decorations…” I trail off, because the pieces start to connect. Did she tell Chris anything? I doubt it. She fucking planned for this to look bad. She played me.
I can taste the bile creeping up my throat.
“You know I’d never cheat on you, Honey,” I say, forcing her to look me in the eyes so she can see the truth. “I love you too much. It’s only ever been you.”
She lets out a shaky breath but doesn’t say a word.
“Wait.” An idea pops into my head. “Let me prove it.”
I fumble to get my phone out of my pocket and thumb through my messages until I get to hers. This will prove everything.
“What the—”
Gone.
She's deleted them… every single message on my phone has been removed by the owner, leaving my messages with no context or proof.
Honey's hand rests on top of the phone. Her eyes draw from the screen to fully focus on me now, and I can practically feel how tired she is. “I believe you, Zach,” she whispers. “I know you wouldn't cheat on me.”
I should feel relief, but the way she says it, soft and broken, tells me that even if she does, it doesn’t fix the bruises from today. It doesn’t erase what Jenni did.
“Then why do I feel like I’m losing you?” I ask, and it’s honest enough to scare me, because it opens up the small truth betweenus that we’ve been ignoring. We’ve been drifting apart since we got here, and this might just be the final straw that makes us see that.
The question is too much. She doesn’t answer. Instead, she presses her lips together, trying to stop the fresh tears from falling.
I pull her into my arms, holding her close, desperately wanting to stop the pain. Her sobs soak my shirt, and I curse myself for ever letting Jenni get close enough to make this happen.
“I’m sorry,” I say, over and over. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
It’s not enough. I can’t fix her.
My hand slides into my pocket without thinking, my fingers curling around the little box I’ve been carrying for months.
This isn’t the right time. Don’t do it.
The rational part of my brain is screaming at me to stop, but panic overrides everything else because I’m watching her slip away and I don’t know what else to do.
I need her to know how serious I am about her. It’s her. It’s always only ever been her.
I flip the box open, revealing the hexagon-shaped yellow diamond on a gold band that looks like connected honeycombs.
“Zach—”
“Marry me, Hunniford Sanderson.” My voice breaks. “I know tonight’s been hell. I know you’re hurting, but Honey, I’m tired of trying to pretend you’re not already mine. You’re my home.”
My voice tightens. “I want to be your home too. When everything else is broken, I want to be the person you run to. I will show up. I will fight for you. I will fightwithyou. I want to help you when you feel lost and celebrate every single one of your wins.”