“More like playing the freaking drums.” After she heated up the water, she leaned against the countertop, taking deep breaths as she rubbed her stomach. “Do you think we can talk about the big elephant in the room?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I sighed. “You mean the fact that Landon showed up to my job and has been so persistent about talking to me? And the fact that the more he shows up, the more I want to talk to him to get answers to questions that don’t really matter, because I’m over him, and I’m not an emotional teenager anymore who needs to know why she wasn’t good enough to come back for? And the fact that I shouldn’t look back but should only look forward, even though I can’t stop thinking about the night we’d slept together, and ever since then I’ve been having sex dreams about him and secretly wanting to sleep with him while sober in order to see if the sex was just whiskey-drunk good or if it wasgoodgood, but I know that’s a terrible idea, because if I slept with him again, I’d be opening a door that shouldn’t be opened, but I mean, isn’t it already open, seeing as how we’d already banged? I mean, people just have sex, right? It doesn’t have to mean anything other than banging. There don’t really have to be feelings involved, because I don’t think Ireally do feelings on that level anymore, so I don’t know. That’s it. That’s all I have to say.”
Raine’s mouth hung open as her eyes widened in shock. “Holy crap, that was the longest run-on sentence I’d ever heard. I don’t think you even blinked once or took a breath.”
“I know, but you said you wanted to get the elephant in the room out of the way. Plus, I’m pretty sure you’ve been able to tell what was on my mind ever since it happened. So there. It’s all on the table now.”
Raine blinked repeatedly, still appearing stunned.
“What?” I asked.
Her stare moved across the room, and she pointed. “I was talking about the huge stuffed elephant Hank ordered from Amazon the other day. He’s been buying stuffed animals as if we are having a freaking zookeeper.”
Oh.
She meantthatelephant.
Right, of course.
“I guess this took an awkward turn,” I nervously laughed.
“Awkward turn? Shay, you just did a figure eight in the air with that comment. You’ve been thinking about sleeping with Landon again?”
I rubbed my hands over my face. “I actually can’tstopthinking about sleeping with Landon, which is driving me crazy. I shouldn’t be feeling any of this, because my logical mind knows better.”
“You can’t always listen to your mind. Sometimes you have to let your heart lead the way,” Raine said, shrugging her shoulders. “Landon isn’t the same boy he was all those years ago, and even the person he was back then wasn’t awful. He was just lost.”
“Do you know why he never came back?” I asked, feeling atad bit stupid for even asking. Raine and I never talked about how Landon moved on without me. I asked her to never mention his name again after he moved on so publicly with Sarah Sims all those years ago. Seeing him with her crushed me, and I didn’t have the energy to talk about him. But lately, that question had been sitting heavily on my mind.
Raine grew somber, something that didn’t happen often. “I do, but it’s not really my place to say.”
I laughed. “Come on, Raine. You couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m a regular gossip, but this is different, Shay. If you hear the reasons why, then they need to come from Landon’s mouth.”
I lowered my head, somewhat confused by her words. “Were the reasons good?”
She nodded. “Yes. I know you probably resent him a lot, too, but I’m telling you, Shay... Landon has gone through a lot of wars throughout the years, but he’s done a lot of work to better himself. If you let him back into your life, even if it is just to bang him, please don’t hold his past mistakes, or crap you read about him in the tabloids, against him. If you want to know who he is today, then ask him straight out. That’s where the truth is.”
I took in her comments, unsure how to even react to them.
“Besides”—she shrugged—“I’ve been a fan of Team Lay since high school.”
“‘Team Lay’?”
“You know, Team Lay. It’s when you put the names Landon and Shay together.” She poked her tongue in her cheek. “Which actually makes sense why you want to bang him. You were meant to lay with one another and bang.”
“Oh gosh, shush.”
“I’m just saying, Shay. It’s your destiny.” She cringed once more as she set her hands on her stomach, and she closed her eyes really tight. “We might have to put off the tea for a while.”
“Why is that?”
“Um, because I’m pretty sure my water just broke.”
* * *
“It’s too soon, it’s too soon,” Raine cried as we drove to the hospital. I was shooting down the roads, trying my best to not fly through any stop signs or red lights. One of my hands was on the steering wheel while the other was gripped tightly in Raine’s hand as she sat in full-blown panic mode.