I don’t deserve Andie.
And Andie, my beautiful Andie, certainly doesn’t deserveme,a screw-up.
I don’t speak when the cat pads across the living room and dashes to Andie, climbing her feet as she watches her protector go.
“I’m sorry, Millie. You’ll have to stay here,” Andie says, bending down again to rub her fur as she gives her a name.
“You can take her with you,” I offer, and I sound foreign even to my own ears.
Andie straightens and looks me dead in the eye. “No. I’ve taken enough advantage of your pity,” she spits the words like venom, and my heart breaks at the meaning of her words.
What the fuck is she on about? Pity? Fuckingpity?
That’s not even in the list of things I feel when I lay my eyes on her, when I think of her, which isconstantly.
I’m about to tell her so, taking a step toward her to give her a piece of my mind, when she jerks the front door open and strides off straight into the elevator.
All I can do is stare at the place where she was only moments ago as the feline scratches my leg for rushing her mom away.
If I thought my past scared me, I’m afraid the look of devastation on Andie’s face might now be at the top of that list.
I did not have to be so cruel to her to keep her away. She might not have wanted to stay with me either. We could’ve parted amicably, respectfully.
But I had to go and cause her distress, hurt her the way I was afraid I might. That’s why good things like Andie don’t happen to losers like me.
It’s in this moment when I watch her walk away that I wish I’d spent my entire life becoming a better version of myself.
And the truth is, I don’t think I knowhowto be.
Because all my life, I’ve only ever been called worthless, useless, a waste of fucking space. And after one point, I started to believe it was true.
Istilldo.
I know it deep in my heart that Andie Moore deserves better.
AndIam not that.
So, letting her walk away is the onlybetterthing I could do.
Regardless of the truth of my being, there’s another part of me that feels something entirely different.
I realize one thing with glaring clarity—I’ve fucked up.
Twenty Five
Andie
“Ms. Moore, are you alright?” A soft voice penetrates my melancholic thoughts.
I blink away the fog and turn my gaze to Tabi as she pulls on her pigtails, standing close to me.
I remember what I was doing—checking notebooks while I gave them lines to learn for the year-end play.
We have our first practice later in the day, and I couldn’t be more distracted.
I give Tabi a small smile, touched that she noticed my mood. “Thank you, Tabi. I’m alright.Just a bit tired,” I say, pinching the air, not wanting her to worry.
A grin spans across her face. “Then I won’t add to your stress, Ms. Moore.” With that, she runs off to her seat and gets to work.