Her head turns to me, her messy waves falling over her shoulders as she deadpans, “Tough luck. That’s what you said when I proposed you take my virginity. Yet, here we are now.” She spreads her hands out in a show of reminding me of everything that transpired yesterday.
“Jesus.” A humorous chuckle slips past my lips as I pinch the bridge of my nose at her brutal honesty.
I look at her with my lips barely lifted, and she looks at me with a smile that would’ve knocked me flat on my ass had I not already been sitting.
She’s a vision like this—messy hair, face flushed but glowing, marks on her neck gleaming, and eyes blazing with life as the sunlight creates a halo behind her.
“Fuck, you’re unreal, Rainbow,” I breathe, awestruck by her beauty like the first time I saw her.
“Oh! Thank you…” Her eyes widen, and her cheeks turn beet red at the sudden compliment as she tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Then she narrows her eyes at me, pointing a finger. “Don’t think you can get out of this, Noah,” she speaks in her what I’ve termed as ‘teacher voice’. One that can make any grown man do anything, let alone me, who’s already willing to be on his knees for her.
The compliment was never to distract her; it was just a truth that slipped out. But I play along with her because that seems less vulnerable than admitting how intense my feelings for her are.
“Busted,” I quip, raising my hands in surrender.
“So?” She cocks an eyebrow at me, waiting me out until I break.
With a heavy sigh, I tell her, “It was my dad.”
“Yeah, well, I figured as much since I’ve eyes and all,” she shrugs, being a smartass.
It’s my turn to narrow my eyes at her, “Don’t be a brat.” Her only response is a cheeky smile that causes my lips to twitch.
“What did he want?” she asks, petting the cat that has now trotted back and found her way to her lap.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” I bite my tonguebefore I tell her things that she doesn’t need to know.
She looks at me with furrowed eyes. “Why?”
All the memories that keep haunting me well into my adulthood, that keep me up at night, flash before me. My mind is a fucked up place, and my parents played a part in it. I feel the shadows pulling me in, and dread settles over me.
“My parents and I…we don’t get along well. That’s all you need to know,” I say in a clipped tone, the lightness between us evaporating in an instant.
“But—”
“That’s enough, Andie. Just because we fucked doesn’t mean I’ll bare my soul to you,” I say, exasperated, hating myself for it but hoping that she’ll take the hint. Because anywhere near me or my dad is a bad fucking idea.
Her expressions shut down, her eyes losing all the mischief, hiding everything she’s feeling. My stomach churns, and my insides scream at me to rectify this.
I reach out, but she pulls back. That action alone guts me, slices me into a thousand pieces.
She feigns a smile, and it feels wrong for a smileon her face not to reach her eyes. “No, you’re right,” she agrees, raising her hand to keep me from touching her. “Who am I to ask you anything personal? Nothing. A woman you slept with once. That’s all.”
She lets the creature on the floor and picks up her dress from the armchair in the corner—where I kept it last night when she was asleep.
“I’ll take my leave,” she says with yet another tight smile as she gets dressed.
I hate the dejected look in her eyes. I’m an idiot for hurting the woman who literally just gave herself to me, put so much trust in an asshole like me.
Andie walks out of the room and straight to the front door after picking up her bag and phone. I hold the sheets around my waist as I follow her.
“I won’t come back to you again. I understand where you stand after making good on your words. You’ve completed your end of the deal and taken my virginity. Thank you,” she chokes on the last words, but hides it by bending down to strap in her sandals.
I don’t stop her, not when my heart yells at me to. Not when everything in me begs me not to let her walk out this door with tears in her eyes.
But that phone call was a glaring reminder of who I am and why I don’t let people get too close to me.