Fuck, I’m so proud to be hers.
“I’m done enabling you and your vices,Henry. Find yourself the first flight home, for that I’d be eager to pay you.”
Henry clenches his jaw, his face flushing in embarrassment. “This is how you repay me for everything I’ve done for you, for giving you a roof over your ungrateful head?”
“Everything you’ve done?” A scoff makes its way out of my mouth before I can hold it in. “All you’ve ever done is make me doubt myself, use derogatory words you had in your tiny littledictionary, and beat me to within an inch of my life while stealing my money! So, be fucking thankful that all I’m doing is turning you away.”
My hands turn into fists, begging to hurt him like he hurt me. But I don’t want to reduce to his level and prove him right by doing exactly what he does when he finds himself cornered.
He looks around, and finding Dan’s distrusting eyes on him as he makes a scene in front of the building, he knows there’s nothing he can do. If he tries to retaliate, he’ll be subdued within a second. And Henry Miller is many things, but he isn’t an idiot.
He only strikes when he knows he has the leverage.
“Watch your back, boy. You never know when a bullet would find its way into it,” he threatens, his words nothing but an attempt to make himself feel the powerful one.
Yet, a shiver rolls down the length of my spine when he gives Andie a menacing glare before he walks off into the night. That nagging feeling I had earlier comes back even stronger.
I grab Andie’s hand, pick up Millie, and stride right into the apartment. All the way to the penthouse, there’s only one thought floating inmy mind: do something about Henry and Elizabeth Miller before they do something none of us can undo.
I need to protect, Andie.
Forty
Noah
As we step into the penthouse, the foreboding feeling gets stronger and stronger, putting me on edge.
Henry’s warning keeps ringing in my ears until my breathing turns ragged. I put down Millie as she skitters away, and I rush into the restroom.
Andie’s hurried steps follow me, but I don’t want her to see me like this, broken and scared. All it took was coming face-to-face with him once for my dormant fear to comeback with a vengeance.
The second I’m inside, I shut the door behind me. Panicked, she bangs on the door, pleading with me to open it and come outside. But I can’t let her see me like this, not when I’m back to being the scared and tortured little kid who took what he got without ever fighting back.
I toss my cap, followed by the shirt that’s restricting my breathing. Turning on the faucet, I splash water over my face until I feel the burning sensation go down.
Splaying my hands over the slab, I let my head fall between my shoulders, my upper body dripping as I try to normalize my ragged breathing and racing heart rate.
Andie’s muffled voices through the door cease after a few minutes, and hurting her hurts me. But I need a second to get my bearings before I confront her with whatever’s left of my dignity intact.
My eyes flick to my reflection in the mirror, dotted with liquid droplets as they slide down the surface, giving in to gravity. All I see is a terrified man who let his past overrule his senses. If Andie hadn’t been there, I might’ve let him talk me into giving him more money, let him curse me for aslong as his energy lasted.
That’s how pathetic I am.
The jagged skins of my scars flare with a phantom ache, each of them reminding me just how much of a loser I am.
This month, after I shared about what a leech my parents are, my therapist advised me to report them to the police. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t do it. Maybe it’s the blood we share that held me back, or the hope that they’d finally see that I’m someone they could be proud of, or maybe I was just fucking scared to face the monsters of my childhood.
But I did cut them off. If I wanted a life with Andie, I needed to let them go; I needed to create a safe space for her in all the ways that mattered. Otherwise, if something were to happen to her because of me, I’d literally die.
My eyes practically bug out of their sockets when the thought that after today, she might leave me slams into my mind at a supersonic speed, obliterating every dream I’ve had for our future into smithereens.
She should. You’re worth nothing, you pathetic loser.My mind chimes, the sound I hadn’t heard in a while.
No, shut up! I’m not a loser! I’m not pathetic! I scream at it, my eyes scrunching in pain.
Even your parents couldn’t love you,it replies.
Because they’re monsters!