I shook my head.“What are you doing?”I said to Lucifer, trying to fucking breathe, to rebuild the walls that were tumbling around me.“Why would you do that?Didn’t you hear what I said?—”
“Ask him why he surrendered,” Lucifer said.
“You already know?”I rasped.
“I think I do.”Lucifer looked down at Silas again.“It has to do with my grandson, doesn’t it?You did it for Zenon?”
“What are you talking about?”I shook my head.“What does this have to do with Zenon?He did it for his wings, to go back to Heaven.”
“Yes, the tournament was fixed, Urs,” Lucifer said.“But not because Silas was going to let them win, but because they knew what the final event would be, and that Silas’s hands were tied, that he couldn’t kill Nathaniel or Eloa even if he wanted to.Silas has diminished powers, but he is the more skilled fighter.That didn’t matter though, did it, Si?”
Silas’s eyes flashed with anger.“I should have seen it coming?—”
I shook my head.“I don’t understand any of this.”
“Then let me explain,” Silas pleaded.
I felt as if I was losing my fucking mind.“Fine.Explain.”
Silas leaned heavily against the wall.“Yes, Rosalind came to me with a deal, and I did consider it, but only because I thought I’d lost you forever.I was never going to go through with it.I tried to convince myself it was for the best, that I needed to move on, to try to get over you, but I couldn’t…” His gaze turned stormy.“There is no getting over you, Ursula.”
I curled my fingers into fists as my heart fluttered wildly in my chest.
“And the way the final event played out?”he continued.“The reason I told you I wouldn’t take a life…it has everything to do with Zenon.”He ran a shaky hand over his cropped hair.“The first time I fell…was because I’d made a deal with the fates.Nathaniel found out and told Michael.”
I stilled.“What kind of deal?”
Silas looked up at me again.“Zenon had suffered his entire life, and I’d spent a good portion of mine with my hands fucking tied, unable to help him.Then Mia came along, and I knew the path to her was the right one for him, but there are no guarantees.So I made sure Zenon stayed on the right path, that he took the one that led him to his mate.”
Holy shit.He messed with fate.
I believed him.Oh gods, I believed him, and not just because Lucifer obviously did as well.“What did the fates want in return?”
“To never take an angel’s life.If I did, Zen would lose Mia, and Zeph, he’d lose everything.”
What kind of male would risk his life to mess with the fates for someone else’s happiness?An image of him holding me close during the poison trial, a tear streaking down his face as he forced me to drink flashed through my mind.I started to shake.
Lucifer, still crouching beside Silas, turned back to him.“I will forever be in your debt for what you did for my grandson.”
“I’d do it again,” Silas rasped.
My pulse was racing as Lucifer placed his hand on the side of Silas’s head.“I think it’s time you show her, Si, don’t you?”he said as light glowed from his palm.
Silas jolted, his eyes sliding shut for a moment.
“What did you just do?”I said, fighting to get free, still held by Lucifer’s powers.
“I removed the shield that’s been blocking his emotions.”
I stopped fighting, my heart slamming in my chest.“What?”
“They were always there, Urs.You just couldn’t reach them.Angels are born with an impenetrable block so others can’t read their emotions, so an angel’s weaknesses can’t be used against them.It never occurred to me…I didn’t think.If only you’d come to me.I’m sorry, Urs, I could have saved you from this pain.”His gaze gentled.“But I’ve fixed it now.Try again, sweetness.What do you feel now?”
Lucifer released me as I reached out with my senses and I grabbed for the wall as all the volatile emotions flowing from my angel hit me like waves of heat crashing into me.Did Silas love me?I shook harder.Yeah, but mere love was nothing compared to what I found.
Silas was willing to die for me.Suffer for me.Break for me.Live the rest of his life in Hell to be with me.I hadn’t allowed myself to see it.I’d ignored what he’dshown me, over and over again.He wasn’t the kind of male who got off on hurting people.I knew that, deep down I knew that about him, but I’d tried to tell myself otherwise, to protect myself.
I ran to him and took his bruised and swollen face in my hands, my gaze searching his.My throat was so tight, I couldn’t fucking speak.