I climbed to my feet.“I don’t want this.”
I’d told Uriel while we were still in the arena that the deal was off, over and fucking over again.I told him I didn’t want to leave, that he could keep my fucking wings, but he’d ignored me, and the rush of having them returned without warning had caused an involuntary euphoria to fill me that I hadn’t expected, and the way I’d reacted, laughing like some fucking deranged supervillain?Ursula had definitely mistaken it for something else.
But I didn’t want this.I’d known almost as soon as I’d seen Ursula again that I couldn’t go through with it, despite trying to tell myself otherwise.I didn’t want to be in Heaven, not like this, not by hurting Ursula.Not because I’d betrayed her this way.
“I want to speak with Michael,” I said and not for the first time.
“I told you he’ll hear your grievances when he can,” he said, repeating the same thing he’d said before forcing me to come with him.“Though I’m not sure why you need to speak with him.I’ve returned your wings.You should be thanking me.What do you think Michael can do for you now?”
“My deal was with him.I need to speak with him.”
“Well, you can’t.You don’t get to demand or dictate anything here, Silas.You forget your place.”
I needed to get back to Ursula, to explain.She had it all wrong.This was all wrong.“I need to go back.”
Uriel shook his head in disbelief.“You sound confused, I think you’ve been polluted…infected by that demon bitch.”
“Do not call her that,” I bit out.
He stilled.“I’m right, aren’t I?You’ve turned.You think you’re one of them now?”
“I request an audience with Michael,” I said again, more forcefully.“Now.”
“You can see Michael after you answer my questions,” he said as he slowly circled me.
“What questions?”I asked, and every alarm bell inside me was wailing.This was all wrong.Everything about this situation with Uriel was wrong.
“Just a few details about Lucifer and his handmaids?”
“Why?”What the hell was this?
“All in good time,” he said, instead of just fucking saying it.“First, you need to think about who it is you are and who you want to be.”He slashed his hand through the air, and my wounds instantly returned, then Uriel walked out, leaving me alone in a cell, locked behind solid bars.
I fell to my knees, weakness slamming into me, weighing me down.Blood oozed from my various wounds, from the serpent, and Nathaniel’s sword that had cut into my back, reopening my scars around my new wings.
My hand dropped to my side, where Ursula had stabbed me.It had all been for show, hadn’t it?Uriel had never really intended to restore my place here.It had been about enraging Lucifer and making Ursula believe I’d betrayed her.Making me their enemy.Even though I’d already decided not to do what Michael had asked of me.
Though I was starting to believe the deal had never been with the other archangel, that Uriel had been behind all of this.
I hadn’t fucking surrendered to come back here, or to secure a win for the angels, I’d done it because of the way things had unfolded.I’d had no other choice.I’d told Lucifer before I agreed to the tournament that I wouldn’t kill for him, that I couldn’t take a life for what amounted to a twisted game, and I’d meant it.I’d stopped Nathaniel from killing Ursula, but if I’d taken his head in return, the repercussions would have been horrific.
Ursula didn’t know that, though, or why, and the open gash down my side told me she’d never believe me even if I tried to explain.
The look of betrayal in her eyes, of pain under all that fury, was branded on my brain.
After what she’d said to me before the fight, that she thought I was empty, unfeeling, I knew I had to find a way to make her see the truth.I’d been hurt, yes, angry that she still thought I was some cold fucking drone without autonomy or the ability to feel my own emotions, but it explained why she was constantly pushing me away.I finally understood.
Now it was too late.I couldn’t get to her, and she thought I’d betrayed her to get my wings back.
Uriel was as self-serving as many others in our brethren, but I had no idea he’d sunk so deeply into darkness that he’d allowed his thirst for power to rot his mind so badly.The archangels walked a fine line.As old and powerful as they were, their sanity could be precarious.Michael was the strongest, the most steadfast, he kept Heaven running smoothly, but there had been no sign of him since I got here, and that wasn’t like him.Not at all.
All I could think about, though, was that Ursula was alone.I’d held her in my arms while Felditch had tortured her with her deepest fears, while she’d called for me, begging me not to leave her—but I had.I’d left her alone when I promised I never would.
I had no idea how much time had passed when the door to the room that contained my cell finally opened again and Uriel strode in.
“Silas, how are you doing?”
“Why am I here?”I said, though I knew, didn’t I?I fucking knew.I dragged my weakened body over to the bars between us.“What can you possibly want with me?”It was hard, but I kept my temper in check.He was far stronger.My only chance of release was attempting to reason with him.