I start the car and pull out of the venue parking lot.
Let’s go get my one last time.
Before I know it, I’m pulling down the long dirt driveway to the farmhouse. When I shut the door to the chartreuse disaster, I spot Wyatt leaning over the porch railing, his forearms thicker than the plank of wood they’re leaning on. He watches me as I come up the steps, and greets me with a kiss when I’m in arm’s reach. “Are you hungry?” he whispers.
“No, I had my fill of wedding cake.”
He moves to open the door for us. “Ma and Pa already hit the hay. They’ll see us tomorrow morning before we go to the airport.”
“I hope they had fun,” I whisper back as we walk through the main area and to the stairs.
“I think they did. Maybe they’re in a bit of shock that their oldest is a married man, but I think that will quickly turn into excitement for grandbabies.”
I laugh and he shushes me. “Sorry,” I whisper.
When we get to the landing, we just look at each other for an eternal second. Wyatt’s been trying to tell me something all night. Now’s his time to fess up to whatever it is. My stomach twists at the thought that he might be about to tell me he’ssomehow already made a deal with the Butchers and is headed home to pack his bags.
He heaves a breath that’s big even for his size. “We need to talk.”
Okay, so we’re going to figure this out now. Perfect. “About what?”
“You know now is my chance to go back to the Butchers,” he starts.
“So you’ve said.” Anger rises up, choking me. After letting me fuck him, getting a taste of what it feels like to reallybewith him, he’s telling me—what is he telling me?
“But when I saw you tonight from the altar, I knew that’s not what I wanted any more. I don’t have to come back to Wisconsin to be happy. I’ve been chasing the wrong thing. I was so mad about the way I left Green Bay, I let it affect my relationship with my team,” he takes my hand and holds it, “and you. I won’t do it anymore. I can’t. I thought I’d get clarity coming back here, but I haven’t. You know what I have thought about?”
“What?” Is that all I’m capable of saying in such a big moment?
“The way you fit in my parents’ kitchen. The way you laugh with my brother and his friends. How beautiful you look when the sun strikes you the perfect way. It’s the same sun here and in Texas. And it’s the same you.”
I want to sink into everything he’s saying. Take it all and shove it in my pocket, but something doesn’t make sense. “Layla told me what the cedar chest means. It’s more than just a common gift between friends.” I look at him, but he says nothing. “Isn’t it?” I urge.
“Yes. Like I’m sure she told you.” He looks at his sock feet. “My mom keeps the clothes Henry and I wore on the way home from the hospital in her’s.”
“You said you bought it years ago.”
“I did. At the end of our senior year.” His voice is rough, like the gravel road that leads to Vandergriff Farm. This is starting to all add up.
“So what? You loved me then, kissed me before I left, but didn’t love me enough to do anything about it for five years?”
“No.” There’s genuine hurt in his voice. Like it’s painful to think back on that time.
“Then you agreed to fake date me for six months,” I continue.
“It’s not like that,” he pleads.
“Now you’re saying you don’t want to come back to Wisconsin? What does all of this mean, Wyatt?” My eyes search his face, looking for signs of the truth. I don’t want any more miscommunication between us. I can’t do another five years of holding my tongue.
“It means I want this to be real, Nash. It means that it’s felt real to me this whole time. It means the years we were apart I wassufferingwithout you.”
“The mixed signals are going crazy, my guy.” I try to laugh but it comes out weak.
“You already admitted that you felt something after we kissed and didn’t say shit about it either,” he says back, like that’s checkmate.
“Youkissedme.”
“Andyouran away.” He crosses his arms as if that helps him prove his point.