“Gay.”
Finn sat up like he’d been catapulted, spinning to face me, the force of his movement making his robe come loose, exposing his chest. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I’m gay.”
“Gay?”
“Gay,” I whispered because this was the first time I’d really admitted it to someone in my life. “I’m Jasper Fischer, and I’m gay. I think I realised I was gay when I was fifteen, when I fell for my best friend, but he moved suddenly, and I somehow blamed myself, pushed down my feelings, and tried to force myself to like women. Which I don’t, by the way, I didn’t. I mean, I hated it so much that when I tried it, I cried. And, well, tonight, I realised that I’m gay.”
I let out a massive sigh, but then my relief at saying it out loud turned to panic. I sat up too, wondering if Finn was about to throw me out. “Sorry, this was a massive overshare.”
He reached forward and took my hand. “Totally knew my gaydar wasn’t faulty.”
We stared at each other for a second before we both burst out laughing.
“Congratulations on knowing I was gay before I did.”
“Do I win a prize?” He winked.
“Some new Post-it notes.”
“You know the way to my heart, Professor.” He let go of my hand and clapped, flopping back against the pillows, giving me another look at his hairless chest and his dark red nipples that were puckered from the cool air.
He sat up again, staring at me wide eyed. “Wait,” he gasped. “Rewind a little. You were watching me dance, and you felt something… that’s what you said, right?”
I threw off the covers, suddenly feeling too hot for my own skin.I did say that, didn’t I?
“No. You misheard. I mean, your dancing was beautiful. Stunning.”
He leant closer, poking me in the ribs. “You thought I was hot, Professor,” he teased, his voice sing-songing playfully. “Oh, my gosh. I was part of your gay awakening.” He clasped his hands in front of his heart. “How dreamy.”
I shook my head, laughing. I liked that he was making light of the whole thing. It was nice. He lay back against the pillows, rearranging his robe, covering himself up.
“Don’t worry, Professor. I’ll keep an eye on you while you find your baby-gay feet.”
I turned my attention back to the movie, trying not to notice how disappointed I felt that he didn’t seem to have any interest in me.
EIGHTEEN
FINN
I was tryingto play it cool, but inside, I was happy clapping like an excited seal.
Gay.
The hot professor was gay.
The credits started to roll and Jasper stretched his arms out, making me wonder what it would be like to lean into him and have him wrap them around me.
“It’s late. I should go.”
I didn’t let myself overthink what I said next. “Or you could stay. We could watch another movie and order dessert. Have a sleepover. Although, I’m picking the next movie and, just to warn you, it will be one from this century and will have lots of CGI.”
“I will ignore your ignorance over my classic movie choice and go. I have to check out in the morning. I can’t face trudging out early morning to pack my things.”
I twisted to bash the cushions behind me that weren’t in the right position. “Do you have somewhere you’re rushing off to in the morning?”
“Well, no.”