“Wear what you feel comfortable in, please. And hurry up because I ordered pizza, mac and cheese, burgers, and your milkshake.”
His face lit up, and he clapped his hands together, moving a little easier as he walked to the bedroom, coming out minutes later still wearing the robe.
“Underwear,” he explained. “Now I don’t feel like I’m about to flash you. Right, where’s that food?”
* * *
“How have you never seen this?”I asked, pointing at the screen as Molly Ringwald talked to the drunk bride inSixteen Candles.“It’s a classic.”
“From the olden days, maybe.” Finn laughed, putting his plate on the side of the sofa. He then shuffled down, turning on his side, and pushed his hands under his cheek. “I like this layout,” he mumbled, sounding sleepy.
“You’re going to miss the best bit,” I joked.
“I’m listening. I might just close my eyes.”
“I should go.” I stretched out one leg from beneath the blanket we were under, but Finn reached for me, putting his hand against my forearm.
“Don’t. It’s still early.”
“It’s after midnight.”
“Party pooper. We need to finish the film at least.”
I tutted. “Fine. There isn’t long left.”
“You could sleep over.” He chuckled.
“Watch the film.”
I might have told him to watch the film, but I wasn’t paying it any attention. I mean, I’d seen it a hundred times, but that wasn’t why. No, all I could concentrate on was how close Finn was and how he seemed to be edging closer, and I didn’t even think he’d noticed.
“Did you have a nice evening tonight? How was dinner? Actually, how can you be as in shape as you are if you’ve eaten two dinners?”
“I didn’t eat,” I said, focusing on my fingers that were wrapped together in my lap. “I left early.”
“Why? God, was my dancing that bad?” His eyes locked on mine, but he was smiling because he knew how talented he was.
I didn’t reply, raising my eyebrow.
“Did something happen?” he asked, sounding more concerned.
I huffed out a laugh. “You could say that.”
He leant up on his elbow, giving me a stern look. “Professor, don’t make me force it out of you.”
“Fine. I think I’m…” I paused. “Actually, no, there’s no thinking about it. I know I am. Had a bit of an epiphany tonight.” I lay back against the pillows, looking upwards, as words continued to spill from my lips. “Well, I think you caused it. Well, actually, I think it started in Ecuador. I… there was a moment, with Travis. And I freaked out and ran back to the UK. I didn’t say goodbye. He won’t talk to me. He hates me. Don’t think he’ll ever forgive me. And then tonight, you were dancing. But I didn’t know it was you. And I was staring. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. And I was feeling… God, I was feeling… and then, after you’d finished, Jax… Jackson… my mum’s husband came over and put his arm around me, and it was like a dam broke. It all came rushing back. How I used to feel about him. I think I pushed it down. Denied it all these years. But you. Travis… I had no idea, but now… it all makes sense. How unhappy I’ve been. How crap I am in relationships. I’ve been denying it. Not hiding it, because I had no idea. None. No memory of ever feeling that way, but now. It’s like I’m seeing clearly for the first time in my life. But I’m scared and I have no idea what I’m doing. I mean, none. At all.” I sucked in a deep breath, my head feeling a little light from offloading. I turned my head to find Finn staring at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Professor, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think you need to spell it out for me. Nice and slowly.”
“I just told you.”
He rolled his eyes. “No, I think you just told me everything but the point of your story. You realised what? Denied what? I made you do what?”
“You made me realise… well, you were a part of why I realised.”
“Realised what?” His frustration was clear. “I’m still not clear what you’re getting at.” He paused, and his tone softened. “Sorry, it’s been a day, and my brain appears to have gone to sleep before my body.”
I ran my tongue over my teeth because he was right. I was saying it all, but the actual word I needed to say to make the rest of it make sense.