I saw Jase’s mom yesterday at Cicely’s store and asked her how Sherry was doing.
“Despondent,” Valerie Creed croaked, looking broken.
“At least she won’t have to deal withhimanymore,” Cicely put in.
Val shook her fair head of hair and whispered brokenly, “But that’s part of the problem. As much as he was a monster, and believe me, he was… that was supposed to be her soulmate. She hated him, but the mate connection dictates her soul will mourn him for the rest of her life. What does she have to look forward to now? She feels like her life is ruined. She’s mourning him despite loathing him.”
Cicely’s eyes met mine as I winced. And after Val was gone, my bestie gave me a pointed look, one requiring no explanation. Sherry Creed got served up some karma cake with bitter frosting. And no, neither of us like her. She’s a mean-spirited, shitty person who thrives on others’ misery. She doesn’t ever go head-to-head with Cicely because Sis would eviscerate her. Sherry targets the more docile females where she can do the maximum damage with minimum repercussions. But despite Sherry’s ugly track record, this fate for her sounds horrible.
Yes, she’s my one and only enemy in the world, but I wouldn’t wish what happened to her on even her.
Anyway, my feelings for Jase are in the past. I’m done wasting time on him.
Malachi Carswell from Silver Hills asked me out and I told him I’d think about it. He’s cute. He’s nice. He loves books. Stacy said he’s a good guy. Anything with him can’t be more than casual. Brody needs him as beta for the new pack and it’s not like I’d ever consider moving away from Arcana Falls. I’d ratherbe the stereotypical librarian spinster than leave this place and everyone I love.
But I figure it’ll be good practice to go on a date or two. Put myself out there a little. Move forward with my life. Maybe get myself my first kiss, finally, so if I meet a guy where there’s an actual possibility with him, I won’t be a crappy kisser. And maybe it’s time I begin thinking of a life that doesn’t include being mated to a council alpha.
After lunch with the girls yesterday, Stacy threw me with, “What if it’s not Jase, but… maybe it’s Lincoln or Joel?”
I can’t see that happening. It’d shock the heck out of me if it did. And it’d be awful if it did happen because after Jase’s outburst at Erica’s birthday party it’s obvious that Jase has had enough of me trying to manifest being his mate.
And that could mean he’s complained about me to his closest friends other than my brother. Because Grey wouldn’t let anyone complain about me. I can fathom Jase bitching about me to the others when Grey isn’t around. But what else can he do? The irritating Bailey just won’t take a hint.
Yep, he spelled things out for me with startling clarity at Erica’s party, then further cemented where he stands when I answered the phone at Grey’s and he irately accused me of being selfish, reaming me out for making him look like an asshole. He made himself look that way all by himself.
My face and chest burn with emotion as I regard my reflection. The nerdy pest has finally taken the hint.
But before I move on with my life, I’ll equip him with some magic stuff that could help him protect himself, so he’s free to mate with whichever girl Fate wants him with, and then I’ll go home and move on with my life knowing I helped our council, our pack. And if it turns out he doesn’t need a magic suppressionnecklace or something to put him in a protective bubble after all, well… I tried.
And maybe my new life will start after my mini Italy holiday with a trip to Alaska. Dr. Blakely’s text offer today could save me from having to experience the heartache up close, from having to breathe Jase’s mating scent when it releases. From having to war with myself over how to keep myself at arm’s length from whoever he mates with.
There’s a six-to-nine-month data-driven position that Dr. Blakely thinks I’d be well suited for after a conversation he had about me with Catrina Savage. He said the SCC isn’t posting that position for a few weeks, that I should think about whether or not I want to apply. It sounds like it’s mine if I want it. I’d be in Alaska for most of it but there could be some additional travel involved as well. I’d be reporting to Dr. Blakely directly, but I don’t know a whole lot about what it’d entail.
Six months could be enough time to come to terms with life after Jase mates. Maybe. Hopefully. Though I’d probably miss out on Lincoln and Joel’s matings.
I also don’t want to miss the birth of my twin nephews either. Arcana Falls is home and I can’t imagine living anywhere else, but a short time away could be good for my soul.
It’s time to move forward. Do this, go home, go on a date with Malachi, and then maybe spend a few months up in Alaska.
Greyson will be irritated by me running off to Jason’s rescue like this without talking to anyone first, and yep, maybe my kneejerk reaction was reckless, but as much as I’m done with pining for someone who doesn’t want me, as soon as I overheard he might be in danger and could tell the witches weren’t going to do anything about it, Erica likely being told to sit this one out soFate could handle things, every cell in my being urged me to do something. To help.
What if Fate means for Jase to get hurt? I can’t bear it. No matter he isn’t mine, no matter he doesn’t want me, he’spack. He’s always been the kind of guy who goes out of his way to help others. Always.
It sounded like Erica wanted to do something and her sister stopped her. So,I’mdoing something.
My thoughts flit back to what Stacy said. No, it’d be awful to be paired with Lincoln or Joel when everyone knows I’ve been crushing on Jase for years. I’d hate to be mated with someone carrying an obvious torch for someone else. If I do wind up with anyone, it has to be someone who would never want me to move away from my home. Someone who wants me. Who respects me at a fundamental level, and that includes respecting how important Arcana Falls is to me.
Effective the moment I return home, I’ll be doing everything I can to not only show I’m over Jase but to trulybeover him. It’s time to move on. And maybe a break from home is the best way to reboot my life. Even if it means I don’t get to be around for Lincoln and Joel’s matings.
The idea of missing any of it makes me sad, though. It’s silly, but I feel like I’m supposed to be there for all of it, to welcome each girl to the pack. To the inner circle of the council alphas. Even though I’m not truly a member of that circle, just the sister of one.
When I get back to my seat, the lady beside me drops something, so I bend and retrieve it. The baby bootie. I hold it out for her. It’s super-soft and a pretty shade of yellow with the most adorable Ugg-like shape I can imagine for a tiny little foot. There’s even a sweet little button on the side.
“Here you go,” I say.
She sets it on her knee and makes small talk with me about things to do in Italy, occupying the rest of the flight while she works on the other one.
As we get ready to deplane, she hands them to me. “For you.”