“Someone will be right with you,” the older gentleman said, delivering two menus to our table. “My daughter is the only waitress, and I’m sure she’s on that phone of hers.”
“It’s no bother,” I said, smiling up at him. “We’re not in any rush.”
“Speak for yourself. I need coffee. Or whiskey.” Drew eyed me in a familiar way that I’d missed. “Coffee. Definitelycoffee.”
“Two coffees?” the man asked, his eyes on the set of swinging doors that probably led back to the kitchen.
“Yes, please.”
He trotted away and left us alone. I couldn’t do anything but smile as we just stared at one another. I dropped my hands to the menu in front of me and grinned at my fiancé openly. There was no one here to mock us, and I fully intended to take advantage of that. To stare and to talk if he was in the mood to, and that was about all I wanted to accomplish that afternoon.
“So,” I said lightly, my hand sliding closer to his before I flipped it in invitation.
He slid his fingers over my palm until he was gripping my wrist and I was gripping his. “You want to know what’s happened to make me ride out here with you?”
“If you want to talk about it, sure. If not, we can just sit here together and breathe. As long as you’re here, I’m content.”
“I got a message from beyond the grave today.”
“In what way?”
Drew flared his nostrils as he studied me. “In a Harry way.”
I ran my thumb across Drew’s skin in a calming stroke but kept my eyes on his, afraid to break the lines of communication that suddenly seemed very open between us.
“What did Harry have to say?”
“That you had a nice ass and knew how to suck dick.”
I spluttered out a laugh and covered my mouth with my other hand. “And how would he know that?” I asked, with mock accusation.
“The first part? Because you wear jeans so tight, theymake all the guys stare. It’s been a test to my rage since the moment you walked inside The Hut.” Drew’s smirk grew until it turned into a soft smile. “The second part? Because I spoke about you to him every damn day, and Harry was no fool.”
“No,” I said, trying to swallow back the emotion as my eyes prickled with the promise of tears. “Harry was no fool. He didn’t suffer them well, either.”
I pulled my hands back a little and let the tips of my fingers draw patterns on Drew’s palm to distract myself.
“Was that the entire gift of his wisdom?”
“Well, he taught me to spell, too. Reminded me that the word smart had no ass on the end of it.”
“Sounds like Harry.” I blew out a breath and met Drew’s eyes, not missing the twinge of pain that surrounded them. It hadn’t consumed him again, and I was grateful for that, but it didn’t hurt any less to know how much losing Harry had cost him.
“He also said that I should marry you. That I’ve got one shot to get this right, and even though you love me, you have your limits. I shouldn’t push those.” Drew exhaled through his nose. “I didn’t want to tell him that I’d been pushing that shit since the second I got the phone call saying he’d gone. I know I’ve already said it, Ayda, but this is it. I won’t do this to you again. So, now I have another dilemma on my hands.”
If Harry had been close, I would have kissed him. My limits probably ran much farther than he could have ever imagined, but he always had known how much Drew meant to me—how much I would live through just to be with him. He also knew how to get Drew’s attention when I couldn’t, and I missed that.
As Drew’s last words finally sank in, I studied his eyesand lifted my eyebrows in question. “What kind of dilemma?”
“Do I tell you everything I’ve done since his death, or do I let you believe I’m still the good man we both convinced ourselves I could be after that night in the warehouse?” he whispered. “Do I push you into a corner or do I pull away and let you breathe? ‘Cause I’ve no clue how to go forward now. None. You’re the only thing I never have any answers to because you’re the only thing in my life that can’t be solved by blood, death, violence or power.”
Releasing his hand, I pushed myself out of the booth and moved to his side, kneeling next to him on the bench like I had so many times at Rusty’s. We were the only people inside this tiny place, and the old man hadn’t resurfaced since he’d left, which was fine by me. It gave me a moment to say everything that was in my heart.
“I need you to understand something. Nothing you say or do will change anything now. I knew who you were when I started falling in love with you. You’d just come out of prison, and you were raw and angry, but I fell in love with you all the same. That night, in the warehouse, you made promises to me, but I made promises to you, too. I promised that I would never judge you for doing what you needed to do to keep yourself and the club safe.”
Reaching out, I drew one of my hands down his jaw and smiled.
“I’m not an idiot, I’m not naive, and I’m certainly not blind. You’ve come in almost every night covered in blood that isn’t yours. I don’t need to know what you did to end up like that, but I will always listen if you need me to. I know who you are, Drew. I know the man you are, and I know everything you do has a reason. All I’m asking is you don’tshut me out again. I can endure anything but that.” I leaned in closer and lowered my voice to a whisper. “I trusted you enough to shoot you, remember?”