I didn’t break eye contact with him now I had his attention. I endured his sadness and pressed my hands against his shoulders. “I love you, too.”
I reached for the soap, my breaths beating against his chest and washing back over me as I brought it to his skin. He twitched the moment I made contact with him again, but I pretended I didn’t notice, choosing instead to run my hand to the back of his neck as the other made gentle strokes over his skin. I watched every inflection, every wince as I passed over bruises. I took in his slightly panicked breaths and quiet grunts of appreciation as I worked. I hid my own worry, my own panic, my own selfish needs to keep those walls from falling down around him, once again. As I slowly worked the soap down toward his hips, I pushed up on my toes, fisting the back of his wet hair so he couldn’t escape what I needed to say next.
“You’re mine, Drew, and you will come back to me. No matter how long it takes, I promise I’ll always be herewaiting.”
His lips parted, a set of words dangling off the edge of his tongue before he swallowed down and ground his teeth together, closing his eyes and flaring his nostrils. Drew was in pain, both on the outside and on the inside. He’d opened himself up to me too much in all the time we’d been together for him to hide that anymore.
“You shouldn’t wait for anyone.” His eyes opened slowly, focusing on me with all that he had as water dripped from his lashes. “You’re better than that. Too good for this life.”
“It’s a good job you don’t make my decisions for me then, isn’t it? I know how lucky I am to have you. I feel it every morning when I wake up and see you sleeping next to me. Every time I look down at my finger and see that ring you gave me, all I see is our future. I’m never going to give up on you. I just need you to never give up on us. Do what you have to do, but remember... I will always be here waiting.”
I stepped closer to him, the motion pushing us both against the tile of the wall. I could feel the strength that was buried deep inside of me bubbling to the surface. I felt it culminate and knew that it was shining up at him, whether he wanted to see it or not. That was the strength he’d given to me when I was broken. Those were the bricks and mortar he’d set in place, ensuring that when this moment came, I would be able to offer him the same.
“You’re mine, Drew Tucker,” I whispered.
“When did you get so tough?”
“When you started sharing your strength with me. When you started to love me.” My hand on his hip slid to his stomach and down to his erection. I dropped the soap, forgetting any pretense of washing him physically.
We’d moved to the emotional.
Drew glanced down between us, watching every movement of my palm and every twitch of my fingers around him, his lips parting as he lost himself to the reality of us being close again.
“I’ll never stop,” he pushed out, running a single hand up and down my spine until it reached the curve of my neck and he dug his fingers in, bringing to life a sweet pain that only he could bring. “I’ll never stop,” he repeated to himself.
That made two of us.
Drew Tucker hadn’t just invaded my heart—he was running through my veins and implanted in my soul. He surrounded me. Tonight, he was mine again, and as I stroked the length of him, I watched him react to my touch. I wasn’t sure how long this would last, how long he would stay with me, but I had his full attention for now. He wasn’t sharing me with his grief. I was going to relieve him of that and his guilt. I would consume his hunger for retribution and replace it with a hunger for me, for us.
His head fell back against the tiles with a thud, his eyes closing as he let his shoulders and body relax, his hips arching away from the wall so he could slowly begin to thrust his hips in time to my strokes. There were subtle moans and groans of appreciation rumbling in his throat, a no doubt welcome relief from the tortured headspace he was used to as I took him away from it all.
We moved together, his hips, my hand, the speed increasing, our breaths building until it drowned out the sound of the falling water. Just listening to the satisfaction, no matter how quiet, aroused me. My lips found the stretched skin of his neck, kissing, licking and nibbling it. I’d barely made it to hisAdam’s apple when I felt him tense, a growl rising from his throat, feral and wild. His hands dropped immediately to my hips and his fingers pressed against them with bruising force as he spun me away from him and physically moved us.
I barely had time to register the change of our location, but the moment he pushed me from the small shower toward the sink and vanity, I knew where this was going. One of his hands moved to grip the back of my neck with the same bruising force he was using on my hip. He squeezed the flesh and pushed me down so I was bent over the sink and we were staring at one another through our reflections in the mirror. It only took another breath for me to realize that this was going to hurt: emotionally, physically and erotically.
I could see his promise of brutality in the tensing of his jaw and the narrowing of his eyes.
I didn’t fight him now that I understood where he was going with this. I welcomed the raw animalistic nature that was driving him. Releasing my neck, and satisfied I would stay there, his hand fell back to my hip, reestablishing the bruising grip and lifting my ass high enough to force me to my toes. I took the incentive and pushed my ass up in a promise of forever, holding his glare through the mirror as my stomach clenched in a strange mix of concern and anticipation. If he thought this was going to be the moment I realized there was no saving him, he was wrong.
He was so very wrong.
Oh, I wanted him, all right.
I wanted him so badly that I would take him any way he chose to give himself to me.
Even if that choice made me a masochist.
His eyes stayed fixed on mine as he drove into me with awild force, lacking any of his usual tenderness or his playful, light touches. He was an animal, using me to gain what he needed. A low grunt of arousal filled the air, and that’s when Drew tore his eyes away from mine and chose to look down at his dick pushing into me over and over again. His jaw ticked. His eyes narrowed. Every sharp muscle in his arms and chest tensed, and his rhythm picked up like it was never going to stop gaining speed... until he raised his hand and swiped down hard, immediately whipping back up on my ass cheek to counteract the harsh sting with another.
The immediate slice of pain against my skin made me inhale heavily. The sudden, brutal hum sank below the skin and rushed across the surface like a constant reminder of what he’d just done. Yet, my breath exhaled tangled in a moan of pleasure that I hadn’t expected. A moan that only made Drew take me harder.
Reaching out, I slapped my palm against the mirror in front of me, covering where my reflection stared back. It stopped my thighs from riding that brutal corner of the vanity, and it made sure that my confusion wouldn’t be played back to me when I remembered this moment between us. The bracing also gave me the angle I needed to push back against him, daring him to give me more, to take me harder, to make me scream his name like he knew I would.
That was the only predictable thing about him. It took him a second to switch his angle, and I couldn’t do anything but ready myself as much as I possibly could when he leaned forward, pressed his chest to my back and hooked a strong arm under my stomach. His other hand rose to grip my chin and forced me to look at the two of us together.
“This is what you want,” he panted roughly, staring intomy eyes.
Drew’s body worked with a violent force even I hadn’t known he was capable of, and as I felt his thrusts get harder, faster, I saw his eyes darken, too.