“They’re all right,” she assures me. “Are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“That lie was even worse than the first one,” she informs me, pulling me from that door again, from that room. “But since you’re being so truthful, tell me this…it his looks? You can admit it if it is.”
I let out a laugh. “Dolly—”
“I’m not judging you. He’s a fine-looking man. In fact, if I were younger…”
“How lucky for me that you aren’t then,” I reply, smiling. “I’m not sure I could withstand the competition.”
“Probably not,” she agrees, smiling too. “I was a terror in my time.”
“It’s still your time, Doll.”
“Course it is.” She looks at me fondly, but I don’t think I’m imagining the hint of sadness in her eyes. “But should that time run out before we see each other again…”
“It won’t.”
“Cypress,” she says, gentle but insistent. “If it does…I’d like to go to my next life knowing you’re being taken care of in this one.”
“You don’t need to worry about me,” I try to reassure her. “I can take care of myself. Always have.”
She scoffs. “Just anatrociousliar.”
“It’snota lie.” I let out a long breath. “I’ll be fine. I…I want to be.”
“And that cowboy—”
“Aiden.”
“Aiden. You think he’ll make you happy? Maybe make you more thanfine? Again, I understand he’s nice to look at, but…”
“It’s not—I mean, heis, but it’s also that he…” I examine my folded hands on the bar, noticing the way my left thumb is tapping against the back of my right hand, but I’m too tired to try to stop it. “He’s part of what I’ve been searching for, and finding him made me think that it actually was worth it. That there was a reason for it. That I haven’t been wrong to believe…”
There’s a long pause after, and I’m not sure if it’s her being thoughtful or her simply not knowing what to say this time.
“All right then,” she replies finally, a slight waver to her voice when she says, “I’ll put a word in for you, darlin’.”
“Thank you,” I say softly, knowing she’s good to her promises, even if I’m not sure it would do any good at this point. Maybe there isn’t anything that would.
I look toward the mirror at last, not to see myself but the same men from before as they move about the packed room. Thinking they’re closing in. Not thinking for a moment that anyone else is.
“You tell Lula the plan?” I ask Dolly, not needing to see her to know she’s watching them as well. “She know what she’s supposed to do?”
“Mm-hmm, told Sammy, too, so she wouldn’t be concerned,” she supplies, and I glance down the bar to where Sammy is currently staring daggers at them between pouring shots. “She offered to do the honors.”
“I’m sure she did,” I reply, smiling briefly before standing as the men start heading for the stairs that Lula just climbed. “Tell her she can get the next round. I’ll take this one.”
I try going for a ride. It doesn’t help. Nor does it help to think about going back to the house knowing no one else is there.
There is nowe.
Fuck.
I’d winced when he said it. Even knowing the words were, as he pointed out, my own directed back at me. But they’d sounded different out of his mouth. Cruel. And I didn’t want to be. Not to him.
I wanted you.