“That shouldn’t be a surprise to you, Kalani! I talked about my crush on Emmett basically every single day from the day I met him in grade nine right up until you said, ‘Oh, Emmett and I are dating now.’”
Indignation crosses her face. “So, what then? You spent the last nine months trying to steal him from me? You told me you were happy for me.”
My jaw nearly drops to the ground. “When have Ieverdoneanythingto indicate I’m trying to steal him? Have I ever been anything but supportive of you? Have I done anything to sabotage your relationship or try to break you up?No.Unlike you, who has literally been sabotaging my dates—which were your idea in the first place!—for goodness knows what reason.”
Kalani grits her teeth, and instead of answering me, she crosses her arms and looks away. But I’m not going to let that slide. I didn’t come all this way just to learn she thinks I’m trying to steal Emmett and leave it at that.
“Kalani, I—” I stop when I realize we have an audience of not only Ralph and Nico, who are staring at us in complete shock, but everyone else at the cliff as well. I pull Kalani away from the tree line, where they’re sitting on logs around the cooler, to give us a bit more privacy. The sky is still darkening, but it’s not dark enough to not notice how incredibly high up we are, and I position myself so I don’t need to continuously stare over the edge of the cliff at the churning water below.
I can’t stand not knowing anymore. “Why, Kalani? Why did you make me do this stupid blind date thing just to make sure the dates sucked? Because you knew how I felt about Emmett?”
Kalani still doesn’t give anything away, just shrugs and says, “Partially.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kalani. Can we have an actual, honest conversation for once? Cut this ‘I don’t care’ attitude and tell me what’s going on.”
Her laugh is sarcastic when she says, “You might have to be more specific. There’s alotgoing on.”
There’s so much I want to say, but I start with the easiest thing first. “Fine. Why don’t you begin with why you forced me to go on blind dates only to make sure they sucked?”
Kalani shakes her head, and for a moment I think she’s not going to answer, but then she says, “At first, I set you up on terrible dates because I figured you’d crack and tell me you didn’t want to date anyone because of your feelings for Emmett. I even kept giving you outs to tell me. But as the dates went on, and I could tell how miserable you were, I started to . . .”
“Started to what?” I prompt, dread creeping up my spine.
“I started to enjoy that you were miserable. Youhatedgoing on the dates. And not only that, but you hated pretending you were excited about it, you hated the actual guys, and the worse the dates were, the happier it made me.”
I can’t even process her words, so I try and fail a few times before I get out, “Do you evenhearyourself? You’re supposed to be my best friend, Kalani!”
“Am I?” she fires back, a bitter edge to her voice. “These days, you’re closer to Emi than you are to me. You and I don’t have an ‘Ultra Fun Setlist of Stupid Bands’ or whatever it is you have with Emi.”
“This is about you beingjealousofEmi?” I ask incredulously. “We’ve been best friends since grade two, Kalani. Gradetwo!”
“So what? That doesn’t mean shit. We’re going to university soon, do you really think we’re still going to talk?”
“Well, that was the plan before all of this!”
Kalani laughs humorlessly. “Of course you thought that. Everyone leaves eventually, Carina. But it’s not like you could ever comprehend that.”
There was never any doubt in my mind that we’d still be friends when we went to university. In fact, I was scared thatshewould forget aboutme, not the other way around!
“You’re not making any sense, Kalani! What are you talking about?”
With a frustrated huff, Kalani exclaims, “Your life is perfect, Carina! Your parents are awesome and love you, you and Emi are BFFs, half the guys in school are in love with you, you’re talented and pretty, and even your mean dog with the stupid name loves you.”
“Don’t talk about Kevin like that!”
“This isn’t about Kevin!” she shouts, angrily wiping away a few tears that escaped. “My life is falling apart; I’m losingeveryone.My parents are still in a brutal divorce arguing over every cent and asset, but you know what they aren’t fighting over? Me and Maleah. Actually, they’re fighting aboutnotwanting custody of us. Ailani picked up and moved to California and barely, if ever, answers her phone. Maleah thinks it’s lame to be seen with her older sister. Emi has always been too cool for me, and I was losing you to her. So when Emmett asked me if you liked him at the beginning of the year, I told him you didn’t, and we ended up going out instead.”
“Wait, what?”
Emmett asked about me?
“He was going to ask you out, Carina,” she says in a defeated tone, running a hand through her hair as she backs away from me. “I lied. I told him he’d only embarrass himself and make things awkward if he did because you didn’t feel the same way.”
Sheknewhow I felt about him. I ranted about how in love I was with Emmett every day, and how I would do anything for him to feel the same way and ask me out. He was going to—he wanted to! And she stopped it.
She must know what I’m about to say because she quickly defends herself. “I was losing everyone, while things always seemed to effortlessly fall into place for you! I couldn’t stand you having Emmett too—having another thing perfectly align itself to contribute to your perfect life. So I asked him out, mostly out of spite, but real feelings formed.”
We stare at each other, her chest heaving with anger and frustration and her hair whipping around as the wind picks up. Thunder booms behind her, but neither of us makes a move to leave.