I wasn’t planning on it, but I guess now I have to. “You come to my house, insult me, and harass my dog? Why am I even friends with you?”
“Because I bring snacks and good music.” Emi laughs and opens her bag to reveal it’s stuffed with different chocolates.
“Ah, that’s why. Come on up then.” I lead her up the stairs, and Kevin trots along behind us. Once in my room, I pick Kevin up and place her on my bed, where she curls up and promptly falls asleep.
“Where are your parents?” Emi asks, sitting down beside Kevin and scratching her head. Kevin growls and scoots over on the bed. She tolerates Emi only slightly more than Kalani.
“They went out for dinner.” And I’m glad for that. I didn’t want to tell them I’m going on a blind date. They’d ask a million questions, my mom would do that truth-inducing stare thing, and I’d spill my guts about not wanting to come clean to Kalani. It’s a whole situation I’d rather avoid.
Emi turns on the Bluetooth speaker sitting on my nightstand and pairs her phone. “‘Emi and Carina’s Ultra Cool and Fun Playlist’ coming right up!” she says, and a Metallica song fills my room. Emi created that Spotify playlist after we met in grade nine, and we’ve been adding to it ever since. She literally titled it “Emi and Carina’s Ultra Cool and Fun Playlist.” It’s currently fifteen hours long and growing since we put all our favorite 70s, 80s, and 90s rock songs into it and play it on shuffle whenever we’re together.
“Wow, that’s really good.” Emi jumps off my bed and inches closer to the easel in the corner of my room. “Better than good, it’s gorgeous. Daph is going to freak when she sees it.”
The portrait is a gift for Daphne, whose birthday is next month. I haven’t known her for long, but she’s told me many times that she always stares at the portrait I painted of Emi and would love one of herself. I figured she’d like it, plus I needed a new subject, and painting is fun for me anyway.
“Thanks. It’s not done yet, though.”
The portrait is from her shoulders up, and I painted her realistically but with unrealistic colors. It’s a mostly monochromatic piece all in reds, with subtle hints of green and blue thrown in for contrast. Emi’s was in blues and purples, and Kalani’s was in oranges and yellows. I’ve never painted Emmett because I’m scared that they’ll all see the emotion in the art and be able to tell how I feel, even though it sounds dumb and probably wouldn’t happen.
“You should’ve applied to university for art instead of business,” Emi sighs, sitting back beside Kevin.
I shrug, closing my paints and quickly cleaning up. “Probably wouldn’t have gotten in.” I had the grades to get in to a business program. It’s safe.
She scoffs. “You would’ve gotten a full ride. Stop doubting yourself.” She leans against the headboard. “You know, for once, I agree with Kalani. You should put yourself out there. Apply to OCAD.”
I don’t turn to face her, instead focusing on wiping up my workspace. “Art is . . . just for fun. I’m not good enough to compete with everyone else.”
If the Ontario College of Art and Design, the oldest and biggest art university in Canada, rejected me, I would’ve been crushed, maybe even so crushed that I never painted again. My fears about not being good enough would’ve been confirmed, and I love art too much to give it up. By not applying and not having to face rejection, I can keep blissfully doing art without the bad thoughts constantly looming over me, reminding me I’m not good enough and never will be.
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Emi exclaims. “When I become a lawyer, I’m going to sue you for not living up to your potential and following your dreams.”
“I don’t think you can do that, Emi.”
“I’m the future lawyer here. I’ll decide who I can and can’t sue and for what.”
I roll my eyes, but a smile tugs at my lips anyway. She’s joking, but I’m touched she believes in me that much, and a smaller part of me is thrilled she’s so confident we’ll still be friends after her eight-plus years in school. She’ll still be in Ontario, like me, but she’ll be a few hours away from me. Kalani, however, is moving an entire province away and going to McGill in Montreal.
“What do I need to know about Jay?” I ask. I haven’t really cared to ask for any details, but now that I’m about to meet him, the nerves are kicking in.
The distraction works, and Emi drops the art school stuff. “You’ll think he’s hot, and he thinks you are too.”
I pause cleaning to send her a quizzical look. “He told you that?”
“Not in so many words. Are you excited?”
No. Not at all. “Yeah, totally.”
“Did you know I met Daphne on a blind date?” Emi asks, fondness in her eyes as she remembers the night.
My eyebrows rise in surprise. “Really? You never told us that.”
She smiles sheepishly. “I was embarrassed. Vic and Tracy are the only other lesbians at Oakwoods, and I’m not interested romantically in either of them. But Vic said she had a friend from Northbrook High School who she could set me up with, and I figured, what the hell, I have nothing to lose. And that was the best thing I ever did, because now I’m with Daph.”
“I had no idea. You should’ve told us; we would have supported you.”
“Yeah, well. I didn’t want you guys to think I was a loser for needing to be set up.”
I raise an eyebrow at her as her words sink in.