My head snaps up to look at her, and my heart leaps into my throat. She told me it was cool if I came to couples’ night and didn’t say anything when she slept over after. Did I make the evening weird for them?
“You keep saying you’re okay being single, but it can’t be fun for you to hang around the four of us all the time,” she continues.
“No, I don’t mind!” I rush out before she can tell me I shouldn’t hang out with them anymore.
“Sure,” she says. “Still, it would bother me if I was single and had to watch you and Emi with your partners all the time.”
For a moment, I’m stunned. Does Kalanigetit? Was my mom right? Is it as simple as suggesting a girls’ night every once in a while? A wave of relief washes over me. I won’t offend anyone by suggesting leaving Daphne and Emmett at home every once in a while, and I won’t have to stare longingly at Emmett all the time anymore.
“So that’s why I set you up on a blind date,” she continues, her tone casual.
“Wait, what?” Apparently she and I are on different wavelengths.
She leans on the locker again and adjusts the ends of her uniform shirt. “Think about it. Prom is just over a month away, and you have no prospects for a date. You can’t fifth wheel us at prom. Actually, you’ll be more like a ninth wheel, or an eleventh wheel. And I’ll—most likely—be prom queen, and everyone’s going to be looking over at our table and wondering why mybest friend,who’s cool and beautiful and interesting even if she talks about color theory a bit too much, doesn’t have a date.”
“I talk about color theory the perfect amount—”
“Eitherway,” she interrupts pointedly, “you can’t be at the table and make us all worry about you not having anyone to talk to, because then we’ll neglect our own dates, and no one will have any fun. And I’ll already be too busy as prom queen to worry about you.”
I can’t even process what she’s saying. Blind dates? Prom? Ruining their fun? Is my being single an actualhindranceto my friends? “I don’t think I need a prom date to have fun . . .” I start, but it comes out weak, especially compared to Kalani’s determination.
“You wouldn’t be so left out if you had a date for prom. And not some random guy you agree to at the last minute, because that will throw off the whole dynamic of the group if it’s awkward. It has to be someone you actually have chemistry with, who will get along with everyone. It needs to be someone you’re actually dating and know will be a perfect fit. Prom is the event that caps off our entire high school experience. It has to be perfect.”
Kalani often says things that are insensitive, so I shouldn’t be as offended as I’m feeling, but I can’t help it. “But I’m not dating anyone.”
“Exactly.” She rolls her eyes. “That’s why I set you up on a blind date. Are you not listening?”
Yes, I’m listening. I’m listening way too hard, listening to the things she’s leaving unsaid. She doesn’t want me to awkwardly tag along with her and Emmett, or with any of the other couples coming to prom. I’m perfectly content being single, and while sure, Kalani has made remarks here and there, I never thought it wasreallya problem for her. But maybe it was always a problem, and she was just being nice by inviting me along? Maybe the thought of me showing up to prom by myself, which is completely normal for so many people—just not Kalani, for some reason—is what’s bringing all this on.
“I don’t want to be set up on a blind date, Kalani.”
“Well, duh, you never put yourself out there, not after what happened in elementary school,” she says, straightening up from the locker. “I’m giving you your push. It wouldn’t be so awkward when we all go out if you had someone to bring with you. All we need to do is set you up with people until you find someone you connect with.”
She’s lost her mind. “Kalani, I don’t think that’s the solution here.”
“Of course it is! The right solution is usually the most obvious one.”
No. The most obvious solution would be to have a girls’ night, like we used to. Relaxing spa nights where we would pamper ourselves and chat about nothing and everything, nights where we would take turns picking obscure restaurants we would never be brave enough to try on our own and order tons of appetizers to share instead of one main each, horror movie nights where we would bet snacks on who would be the next character to die. I even miss the nights we would just hang around and do nothing, sitting in the same room on our phones sending memes and funny videos back and forth as we scrolled past them on social media. We don’t do any of that anymore now that they have partners and never go out without them. So having a dedicated girls’ night every once in a while seems like the best solution, because then I wouldn’t feel left out and they wouldn’t feel like I’m fifth wheeling them. But I can’t just say that without offending her.
“Come on, Carina,” she prompts after my silence. She glances around the packed hallway as if to make sure no one is listening. Kids are busy chatting with each other and moving through the space to get to their own homerooms, but she still softens her voice when she says, “This messy year-long divorce process my parents are going through is really stressing me out, and Ailani picked up and moved to California and is being a terrible big sister and not answering her phone. This will be a fun distraction.”
“I’m not going on a bunch of blind dates,” I declare, closing my locker and spinning the lock dial. Especially not just to be a “fun distraction.” Kalani is going through a lot, and of course I want to support her the way she would support me. But that means listening to her and being there for her and helping out however I can, not agreeing to date a bunch of guys so she can have something interesting to distract her.
She frowns. “But I’ve already set you up. His name’s Jalen, but he goes by Jay, and you’ve met him before, so it’s technically not blind.”
I don’t know who Jay is, and I don’t care; I’m not going on a date with him. I’m fine being single, that’s not the problem here. Theproblemis that I’m in love with Emmett, and the only way to fix that is to not be around him 24/7. And I wouldn’t have to be around him 24/7 if I could see my best friend without him coming too.
“Thanks, Kal, but I’m not interested in being set up,” I say, walking toward my homeroom on the other side of the building.
Kalani falls into line beside me since her room is in the same direction. “Why not? You’ll like him, and you already think he’s hot, so that’s not a problem.”
How she’s so confident I think he’s hot, I’ll never know, especially considering I don’t remember ever saying, “Jay is hot” because I don’t know who Jay is, but that’s not my most pressing concern.
“I don’t need to be set up, Kal.”
She crosses her arms stubbornly. “Really? When’s the last time you went on a date?”
The summer before grade nine. That was before I met Emmett and became obsessed with him, therefore making anyone who asked me out irrelevant and not worth my time. He’s so genuine and sweet, like a real-life Prince Charming, and I feel like a better person whenever I’m around him. No other guy has ever measured up. No one’s had his kind smile or passion for art or been so genuinelynice. Emmett’s the kind of guy who would go out of his way to return a missing wallet or help an elderly person cross the roadandsit and talk with them for thirty minutes just because he knows they’re lonely. He’s actuallydoneboth of those things. The last guy who asked me out told me old people are gross and he hates visiting his own grandmother.